Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my wife why she’s been in such a sour mood lately. She released a barrage of complaints, but the biggest one being that she’s bored. In fact, she described me and our kids as the most excruciatingly boring people she’s ever met, all because we’re introverts. FML
Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML
Today, my wife asked me what I wanted to do this weekend. It’s been so long since she asked, I froze up, unable to think of anything I might enjoy doing that she wouldn’t immediately say no to. It ended up the same as every weekend; we now have plans to go shopping, then visit her mother. FML
Today, my coworker, who I'm secretly in love with, asked me what my plans for the weekend were. I thought she might have been about to ask me out, so I said that I had no plans. She then rolled her eyes and said that she hates talking to, "boring people who shut down every conversation starter." FML
Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML
Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, I was out of town on a work trip. I'd fought with my wife before leaving, and I felt bad, so I called her and poured my heart out, telling her how much I loved her. She sighed and said, "Okay, anyway…" and complained about bills and chores for ten minutes, then wouldn't say she loved me. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML
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Top comments
Ms_ValS 27
I get what your wife means. It sucks when the husband just listens and barely contributes anything to the conversation. Men genuinely seem to believe that hearing their wife talk and being able prove that they were listening is good enough. It feels like we're not bonding, not connecting with our spouse and it really sucks.
logank013 20
Should've said the window.
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Comments (24)
ThrottleJockey 36
Ladies, us men are like waffles. We are made up of many different boxes but can only inhabit one at a time. At the center of our waffle is an especially large box, known as our "Nothing" box. When we are not fixing something, solving problems, or working we generally go to our Nothing box. It's like leaving the engine running but we're not in gear.
SupernovaEclipse 19
What you should've said was "just thinking about how beautiful you are"
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Whenever a woman asks what you're thinking about, some kind of compliment should always be your go to answer.
graywolf923 2
You seem artistic, not boring.