Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with someone in a small bar. I thought they'd smiled at me, so I smiled back. Turns out, they were smiling at their phone screen. I just awkwardly sat there, smiling into the void. FML
Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML
Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML
Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 minutes. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML
Today, I handed my friend his phone, telling him he'd forgotten it. He responded by taking his phone out of his pocket and showing it to me. I then realized I was holding MY phone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Incubuss 0
YDI. Who the hell says a line like that?
tomakobriefs 11
Lame pickup line is lame.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
lifeinhd 3
http://www.explosm.net/comics/1445/
lol_cakes 0
hahaha that was great!
ithedarkone 0
Ouch. I think that ouch needed to be followed by another... Ouch. Lol idk darling maybe you were imagining he was making eye contact when in actuality you kept staring at him causing him to look at you like why the hell she keeps staring at me. LOL but jeez can you say shut down. I have three reasons why he might not have liked you. 1. Maybe your just flat out not his type. 2. Maybe you just came on a little to strong and seemed desperate. 3. Maybe he is gay.
diemileyjk 0
hahaha u deserved that for that lame-ass pickup line
sublime93 0
You're probably fat.
fluffyjimi 0
YDI for "cutie"
Irefusetosay 0
ouch
habesjn 0
You're a girl. lame, immature pick up lines were not meant for you.
Saluton 18
WIN!
Mattmaddog 0
8 is win, rectangular cocks lmfao!
Mr_Eated 0
Reminds me of my friend who asked someone to dance at a club. She looked at him and said, "Me, dance with you? I dont' think so." To which he replied, "You thought I asked you to dance? I said you look fat in those pants". This was almost as funny.
f_alltheirlives 3
I'm stealing that.
freudianego 0
Lets get it straight... he didn't respond well because YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTIVE TO HIM. That is the only possible reason. Learn to face reality, stop bitching about it and do something about it. YDI
fringle 0
um ydi for thinking people have pockets on their crotch