Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with someone in a small bar. I thought they'd smiled at me, so I smiled back. Turns out, they were smiling at their phone screen. I just awkwardly sat there, smiling into the void. FML
Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML
Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML
Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 minutes. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML
Today, I handed my friend his phone, telling him he'd forgotten it. He responded by taking his phone out of his pocket and showing it to me. I then realized I was holding MY phone. FML
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Top comments
Incubuss 0
YDI. Who the hell says a line like that?
tomakobriefs 11
Lame pickup line is lame.
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Comments (144)
Tremble 0
YDI. You brought that upon yourself. Looks like you're not that great after all, sweetheart. But maybe his phone was happy to see you.
kile88 2
what the hell did you say that for? you made yourself look like a dumbass *****
youngboss_fml 2
she must b attractive if he was eyeing her, but girl... no one gets a hardon just by lookin at a chick
Sdlidner 0
I do.
HyperExecuter 0
ydi for thinking ur hot... what really happened was you were trying to get a guy who was like why the **** is that fat chick staring at me... he kept eying you nervously, not thinking you were hot. and you left out te part where he called the cops and you got put in jail for thinking ur hot and coming on to him. I hate girls like you.
SurfGuy 0
what is op
Baron_Random 0
Yeah, YDI to the OP for actually using a pick-up line.
varkey 7
why would his "thing" be in his pocket anyway? OP is a retard
0930charlotte 2
I'm sorry but YDI for the bad chat-up line :S
chaos753159 4
I change my mind Fat Gurls
macskapingvin 0
I'll give you a piece of advice - the best chat-up line EVER. You ready? Here it is: "Hi."