Today, was parent appreciation day at my daughter's KG class. On the stage, each child was asked to define each parent in one word. When it was my daughter's turn, she looked at me hard, thinking. Finally, in the end she said, "My daddy is very fat." Everybody stared. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at preschool, I got to meet the mother of my daughter's best friend. She complimented mine's grades, and noted her quirkiness. I complimented her's for being congenial and being well-rounded. Later, my daughter said they are no longer besties because her mom said I called her daughter fat. FML
Today, I had a meeting with my daughter's headmistress, which I thought went well, until I was walking to my car past the open staff room window and I heard her say to other teachers, “Jesus, I can see where that brat [my daughter's name] gets her shitty attitude from… and her fat arse.” They all laughed. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML
Today, my son was looking through old photos and showed me a picture of myself and asked who it was. When I told him it was me, he responded by saying "But mommy, the lady in the picture is not fat!" FML
Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML
Today, my 5 year-old daughter saw me getting ready to sit down in a fold-out camp chair, and told me, with a big smile on her face, "Daddy, you're too fat to sit in that chair. You'll break it with your big butt." Out of the mouths of babes, I guess. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JMachiavelli 0
You also seem too fat to be described in just one word.
suppressed08 2
*shoots the child* WE SAID ONE WORD D:
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (121)
foolishworkerbee 0
Did every single parent know you or something?
demon1k 0
Like they couldn't tell you were a fat lard before she stated the obvious. Must be an overwhelming characteristic for her to define you as "very fat".
suppressed08 2
*shoots the child* WE SAID ONE WORD D:
pseudolife 4
Haha... FYL indeed. Kids usually speak the truth so try getting into shape. Make gradual healthy lifestyle changes so it won't be so bad dropping some pounds.
Ms_Jessie22 8
From the mouths of babes :)
jassporah 0
kids say the darndest things...
Nylecroc 0
Did you learn from the last time you said that?
Nylecroc 0
that was to Jess
Nylecroc 0
Just think about the things she'll say when she has a bigger vocabulary!
Ms_Jessie22 8
Haha nope! I'm not gonna stop saying it just because one psycho pervert gave me a bad time.
Nena713 0
But that's not one word...
andruha1123 5
cute pic Jessie :D not trying to be creepy or anything :P
Ms_Jessie22 8
Thank you :)
edgarforeverRIP 0
www andruha is flabby
Ms_Jessie22 8
That's rude :(
MauriceWinifred 0
i bet you'll always hold that against her
piinkbunnii 1
So this means she also pointed you out whilst saying this? And you counted how many people were in the place??
simonsaysYDI 8
65 - ...It's not uncommon for parents to know eacother and eachothers kids at school functions, nor is it difficult to look in the same direction as a few people around you if you DONT know who the kids parent is. 10 rows of 30 = 300 OMG MULTIPLICATION IS HARD Seriously, ever heard of estimates? Try thinking about the idiotic thoughts in your head before posting them. Logic isn't THAT difficult.
Mauskau 36
Well kids have shit memories and don't remember shit 'til they're past the age of 9 and they start to hold decent memories that they remember later on in life. And the parents, like they'd care.
apoll 0
SPARTAAAAAAA
AziraLevana 2
77: I started kindergarten at the age of three, and I have plenty of clear memories from before then. Same for my younger siblings, parents and grandparents. Not everyone has to wait till nine to remember stuff. After all, if they did, they wouldn't have retained the ability to read, write and so on.
Kewaii 0
Ahahahahhaa Epic
Ninja666_fml 0
ydi for bein fat
alexxss_fml 10
lol seriously!!!
ZTB13 4
And tomorrow little Sue will go to school with new bruises and apologizing for her dumbass answer...
20sassy 0
2nd! kids always tell the truth
Brettttt 0
Unless their lying :P
slimm_shadyy 0
To be honest, your picture is kinda freaking me out. Just sayin.
Allybuns 0
ikr lol
ayychico 0
fat ppl r so funny
DamnDatFML 0
I see boobies
radmuffin 12
40 I like how you're calling others fat when you don't even have a picture of yourself up. Stop being a dick and grow the **** up.
sharpl916 0
66 is funny indeed
slimm_shadyy 0
Shouldve modded her picture instead of my comment
kalixzo 11
2 is a FAIL at being sexy.
ScooterScott 0
So we can rip on the hot chick with a boob picture up, but not the fat ones? *****! And I can still put an opinion out there, a food critic isn't usually a chef.
omgtacos 0
radmuffin... how about you shut the **** up bitch
yellowman57 13
Stfu! Your ******* huge
JMachiavelli 0
You also seem too fat to be described in just one word.
hornyrabbit12 8
Haha!!
capslockisgood 19
118 - Your picture makes your comment awesome
Freeze_fml 17
Lose weight.
whogotthefunk 0
Exactly. Think of this as your wake up call to start loosing your fat ass gut. Maybe you'll be able to attend her graduation under your own power and not that of an electric scooter. Eat healthy and less fast food. In the end you'll benefit your self and your little kid.
razz122 5
How do you know he was on an electric scooter. Were you one of the parents there?
Ms_Jessie22 8
Ahh the things kids say :)
FYLDeep 26
At least she used correct grammar?
richjumba 0
mrs Jessie took **** pics o herself
dannydubs 0
lol 14 yr olds tryin to be sexy and op do u also happen to be a mcdonalds preferred customer ?
bmariotto 0
not pornnnn ands she's very cute
Freeze_fml 17
I sense Pedobear.
kybabyy 4
Yes, a little shoulder and some boob crack is extremely ****-esque. You need to get out more. Besides, at least Ms_Jessie can use proper grammar.
bmariotto 0
who pedobear?
bmariotto 0
Actually, **** is classified as nudity portrayed in a sexual manner. Sure this picture is a little revealing but it cannot be considered ****.
Ms_Jessie22 8
Thanks Ky :) And I'm 15.
bmariotto 0
fine I'm sorry if I wanted to stick up for you, and also I'm 16 so I don't see how this is wrong?
kybabyy 4
Welcome, Jess. #25, if you're referring to my comment, I was being sarcastic.
bmariotto 0
sarcasm is kinda hard to portray via text :p
bmariotto 0
I really don't get why you must chew my head off when trying to defend her, even if she doesn't want me to. I say one little thing and someone must start a flame war...
jplumbob 4
12 R U kidding? There is nothing wrong with the pic she took. Jess is an attractive young lady.
FYLDeep 26
15 year olds are not attractive.
Ms_Jessie22 8
37- I wasn't attacking you, I was actually talking to #13
bmariotto 0
to me they are... people hating on me because they think I'm 18.
bmariotto 0
is it not that kybaby was referring to my first comment?
kybabyy 4
No, I wasn't.
bmariotto 0
oh I'm sorry I thought that you were being sarcastic towards my comment that's why I said that :( total misunderstanding, I'm new to commenting
kybabyy 4
Ha it's okay. I was really confused.
o_OrawrO_o 0
take the hint , fatty .
capslockisgood 19
I think OP knows that he's fat..
blue_eyes4602 0
I agree with 9. and compared to other pics on this site ms Jessies pic is NOT pornographic
Anatidaephobia_fml 0
THIS IS SPARTA
Freeze_fml 17
300 reference. I was also thinking that.
arandomboy 0
freeze that pic is spool ftw