Today, was parent appreciation day at my daughter's KG class. On the stage, each child was asked to define each parent in one word. When it was my daughter's turn, she looked at me hard, thinking. Finally, in the end she said, "My daddy is very fat." Everybody stared. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at preschool, I got to meet the mother of my daughter's best friend. She complimented mine's grades, and noted her quirkiness. I complimented her's for being congenial and being well-rounded. Later, my daughter said they are no longer besties because her mom said I called her daughter fat. FML
Today, I had a meeting with my daughter's headmistress, which I thought went well, until I was walking to my car past the open staff room window and I heard her say to other teachers, “Jesus, I can see where that brat [my daughter's name] gets her shitty attitude from… and her fat arse.” They all laughed. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML
Today, my son was looking through old photos and showed me a picture of myself and asked who it was. When I told him it was me, he responded by saying "But mommy, the lady in the picture is not fat!" FML
Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML
Today, my 5 year-old daughter saw me getting ready to sit down in a fold-out camp chair, and told me, with a big smile on her face, "Daddy, you're too fat to sit in that chair. You'll break it with your big butt." Out of the mouths of babes, I guess. FML
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Top comments
JMachiavelli 0
You also seem too fat to be described in just one word.
suppressed08 2
*shoots the child* WE SAID ONE WORD D:
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Comments (121)
deathnotedeluxe 0
ydi your kid is dumb.
Oreogasm 5
kids don't know how to lie. fyl
amiemariej 0
do you have children? lying is one of their most used qualities
AziraLevana 2
I don't understand why so many people feel the need to be nasty to people simply because they're overweight. There are reasons other than diet and exercise that can lead to weight problems. And no, I'm not fat -I'm a tiny female and I would choose a big guy over a skinny runt any day.
RufusCade 7
Nine times of 8.9 it is diet and lack of exercise that makes people fat.
amiemariej 0
^^ totally right. cause a small percentage has a medical reason gives reason to believe most cases ate due to lack of self caring
AziraLevana 2
Well, I can't think of anyone I know personally who is overweight solely due to eating habits. I have always been more interested in who they are, rather than what they look like. Very often, they end up being much more appealing because they're not shallow, judgemental morons. I've also found that very often, people who are supposedly attractive open their mouths and become the ugliest people on the planet. I don't make assumptions as to why someone is overweight. Most people are doing the best they know how, and being overweight in today's society is horrible. I haven't ever spoken to a single person who was overweight, who WANTED to be that way. Besides, if they're overweight, it's not my problem, so why be nasty? Sounds like it's just another excuse for people who don't care about themselves to bully someone with a visible problem, to make themselves feel bigger. Really brave.
mshafty 0
Actually there is a very good reason to care about everyone being overweight. Our society as whole is being effected by all the fatties. Health care premiums are going up every year because Americans are so unhealthy and now we are trying to provide healthcare for everyone. Not to mention something like 30% of children between the ages of 6 and 16 are considered obese. I can only imagine how overweight the majority of the population will be in 20 years. Its scary to think how we will pay for it. So I agree that there is no reason to be a dick to an overweight person, i definitely would never do it to someone I know, but I think that they should be called out! Maybe they will get off their fat buts and get healthy!
AziraLevana 2
102: I'm not American. :|
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow, sorry but your kid sounds like a brat. Hope you tell her what's right and wrong to say in public after that.
xx_jopo_xx 0
how would Every Single person know you were her dad?
RufusCade 7
Obviously he's so fat that there could only be him...
floopthepoop 0
bitch
meeeks 0
lose some damn weight? YDI
bossybanks 0
lmao @ 83
prod324 0
omfg, hahhaha
alexxss_fml 10
wow. so much hate on here! Calm down fellas!!!!! where's the peace on here! skidoosh man.!