Love and Transportation: Today, I didn't put any makeup on my acne-ridden and newly sun-burnt...

By Rach - 08/08/2018 23:30

Today, I didn't put any makeup on my acne-ridden and newly sun-burnt face. Today was also the first time I've ever run into my crush outside of work, all while trying to parallel park in a car that hasn't been washed in 6 months. I hit the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 063

You deserved it 776

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Same thing different taste

By Cassidy Bowen - 16/06/2012 05:42 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I decided to not wear makeup for the first time. My boyfriend asked me if I got punched in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 603

You deserved it 6 556

By madd_dizzle - 25/10/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, my crush finally let me drive his truck for the first time in a empty parking lot, after he told me he liked me. It was so dark that I ended up driving into and pole and totaled his car. Now he hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 742

You deserved it 43 421

Obsession by Calvin Klein

By Carrie - 04/12/2020 20:02 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was at a party with my crush, but I didn’t talk to him. After, I walked out to my car, and saw a dent in my car. I then noticed that the dent was exactly the size of my crush’s head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 306

By Lmop68 - 27/05/2009 05:27 - Canada

Today, I saw my crush waving me over from the other end of the parking lot. I ran quickly to greet him, but in my excitement didn't take note of the giant Hummer backing out. I broke two ribs and all my crush was trying to do was warn me of the moving vehicle I was about to run into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 040

You deserved it 17 342

By munchkin - 26/10/2009 06:35 - France

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 847

You deserved it 42 479

Blinders

By Asshole Parker - 06/09/2016 11:01 - United States

Today, I went to work early and saw my crush's car in the parking lot, so I parked next to her. After that, I looked over at her car to see her staring at me with a weird look and her saying, "Really?" Then she gestured around the lot; I looked around to find it completely empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 389

You deserved it 7 568

By NocturnalFox - 25/08/2015 19:46 - Czech Republic - Plzen

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 916

You deserved it 2 186

Good impressions last

By icarlypoop - 11/04/2020 23:00

Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 475

By fugly - 06/06/2015 00:44 - United States - Landenberg

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 012

You deserved it 2 367

Anxiety zits

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I have a second date with someone I like. Usually, I have a minor acne problem, but this week I've had four of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 99

RipperoniPizza 19

Thursday 9 August 2018 0:26

Hope it wasn't his car you hit.

Charlie Given 26

Thursday 9 August 2018 0:50

Don't worry next time you see him you'll have your mask I mean makeup on he probably won't recognize ya 🤣🤣

Comments

RipperoniPizza 19

Thursday 9 August 2018 0:26

Hope it wasn't his car you hit.

Lalala579121 27

Thursday 9 August 2018 15:22

Well if it was that would give her an excuse to trade info with him.

Charlie Given 26

Thursday 9 August 2018 0:50

Don't worry next time you see him you'll have your mask I mean makeup on he probably won't recognize ya 🤣🤣

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 9 August 2018 1:20

So much crushing going on: bumpers, zits, your chances with your crush...

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

Thursday 9 August 2018 10:33

He was gonna see ya without makeup sonner or later anyways if you two got serious...

Dragonmastergod 14

Thursday 9 August 2018 21:45

At least it wasn't his car?

millsjoshua949 12

Tuesday 28 July 2020 0:38

I'm confused about the car part. Who cares if it hasn't been washed in 6 months?

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The Top

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 482

You deserved it 4 391

Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 230

You deserved it 6 517

The Top

Today, I have no cell phone reception as I am visiting family who lives on the side of a mountain. They told me there was service on top of the mountain, so I hiked up. Only when I got there did I realize I'd left my phone back down at the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 824

You deserved it 45 148

Today, I was warned that I was failing too many students and it had to stop, so I showed my boss all of the easy assignments a lot of students didn't even turn in. She told me to stop using so many "big words" in them. I teach at a four year University. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 781

You deserved it 227

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 185

You deserved it 2 780

Today, at work in a clinic, I went in to clean a treatment room. For some reason, it smelled like rotten meat, which made me gag. I sprayed some air freshener. Now it smells like rotten meat and air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 315

Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 854

Today, I woke up and headed downstairs ready to do the dishes, when my mom hissed at me to, “go do the dishes!” As I was washing them, my mom stood over me the whole time. She eventually said, “You know, it’s pretty fucking sad that I still have to tell you to do these things.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 916

You deserved it 440