Love and Transportation: Today, I didn't put any makeup on my acne-ridden and newly sun-burnt...

By Rach - 08/08/2018 23:30

Today, I didn't put any makeup on my acne-ridden and newly sun-burnt face. Today was also the first time I've ever run into my crush outside of work, all while trying to parallel park in a car that hasn't been washed in 6 months. I hit the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 069

You deserved it 792

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Cassidy Bowen - 16/06/2012 05:42 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I decided to not wear makeup for the first time. My boyfriend asked me if I got punched in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 611

You deserved it 6 557

By madd_dizzle - 25/10/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, my crush finally let me drive his truck for the first time in a empty parking lot, after he told me he liked me. It was so dark that I ended up driving into and pole and totaled his car. Now he hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 748

You deserved it 43 435

Obsession by Calvin Klein

By Carrie - 04/12/2020 20:02 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was at a party with my crush, but I didn’t talk to him. After, I walked out to my car, and saw a dent in my car. I then noticed that the dent was exactly the size of my crush’s head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 335

By Lmop68 - 27/05/2009 05:27 - Canada

Today, I saw my crush waving me over from the other end of the parking lot. I ran quickly to greet him, but in my excitement didn't take note of the giant Hummer backing out. I broke two ribs and all my crush was trying to do was warn me of the moving vehicle I was about to run into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 050

You deserved it 17 357

By munchkin - 26/10/2009 06:35 - France

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 851

You deserved it 42 495

Blinders

By Asshole Parker - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to work early and saw my crush's car in the parking lot, so I parked next to her. After that, I looked over at her car to see her staring at me with a weird look and her saying, "Really?" Then she gestured around the lot; I looked around to find it completely empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 658

You deserved it 8 005

By NocturnalFox - 25/08/2015 19:46 - Czech Republic - Plzen

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 923

You deserved it 2 207

Good impressions last

By icarlypoop - 11/04/2020 23:00

Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 488

By fugly - 06/06/2015 00:44 - United States - Landenberg

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 024

You deserved it 2 369

Anxiety zits

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I have a second date with someone I like. Usually, I have a minor acne problem, but this week I've had four of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 102

RipperoniPizza 19

Thursday 9 August 2018 0:26

Hope it wasn't his car you hit.

Charlie Given 26

Thursday 9 August 2018 0:50

Don't worry next time you see him you'll have your mask I mean makeup on he probably won't recognize ya 🤣🤣

Comments

RipperoniPizza 19

Thursday 9 August 2018 0:26

Hope it wasn't his car you hit.

Lalala579121 27

Thursday 9 August 2018 15:22

Well if it was that would give her an excuse to trade info with him.

Charlie Given 26

Thursday 9 August 2018 0:50

Don't worry next time you see him you'll have your mask I mean makeup on he probably won't recognize ya 🤣🤣

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 9 August 2018 1:20

So much crushing going on: bumpers, zits, your chances with your crush...

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

Thursday 9 August 2018 10:33

He was gonna see ya without makeup sonner or later anyways if you two got serious...

Dragonmastergod 14

Thursday 9 August 2018 21:45

At least it wasn't his car?

millsjoshua949 12

Tuesday 28 July 2020 0:38

I'm confused about the car part. Who cares if it hasn't been washed in 6 months?

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

Today, I realized that I’ve been using the same alarm clock ringtone for so long that I now associate it with pure dread, even when I hear it being used in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 106

The Top

Today, I finally had a man say, "I love you" to me in a sincere tone. It was a customer, who was high, over the phone. I said it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 158

Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 224

You deserved it 3 864

Today, it appears that I spent three years of my life studying for a degree to find myself driving around looking for potholes. That's literally my job. I didn't even study roading, my civil engineering degree is in designing structures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 756

You deserved it 267

Today, my brother got sick with a stomach bug. He didn’t even quit his game to throw up in the toilet and instead threw up straight on the carpet. It sat there for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 157

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 615

You deserved it 3 346

Today, I found out that the pills my doctor prescribed for my ED cause severe side effects and I have to stop taking them. So much for my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 123