Work and Animals: Today, at work as a dog groomer, two dogs gave me bloody bites,...

By ReallyUniverse?? - 18/03/2018 19:00

Today, at work as a dog groomer, two dogs gave me bloody bites, completely unprompted. I went home in tears, so my family got Chinese takeout to cheer me up. My fortune cookie read, "It is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog that counts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 805

You deserved it 525

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 20:14 - United States - Columbia City

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 432

You deserved it 9 321

Bad boy!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I dog-sat for my neighbors' pitbull. Weighing in at 100 pounds with a nasty bite, this dog is no lap dog, but I treated it as one - not knowing how deadly this dog could be - beckoning it towards me with my hand. I now have 6 stitches in my hand and arm, and the neighbors didn't pay me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 250

You deserved it 17 902

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 3 812

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 760

You deserved it 10 999

By not twilight - 05/12/2015 00:47 - United States - Charlotte

Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 463

You deserved it 1 642

By Dead Inside - 03/12/2018 07:30 - United States - Elkhart

Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 961

You deserved it 365

By Anonymous - 18/10/2014 23:05 - United States - Evanston

Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 487

You deserved it 13 244

By Sharon - 10/12/2016 13:51 - United Kingdom - Heckmondwike

Today, my own dog bit me quite severely when I was in the middle of teaching a dog obedience class. Everyone had a good laugh at me and in the past few hours 4 of them have contacted me to let me know they won't be attending future lessons and that they'd like to get their money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 470

You deserved it 2 215

By tickdog - 19/03/2012 03:09 - United States - Rockwall

Today, I got my dog back from my aunt. Rather than taking him to an actual groomer, I gave him to my aunt because she needed a few extra bucks. My generosity lost me $35, and gave my dog ticks and a bad haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 873

You deserved it 5 473

By workaholic - 15/02/2012 11:09 - United States

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 258

You deserved it 3 006

kazekai8 11

Sunday 18 March 2018 19:05

What are the chances of getting a cookie related to your plight? O.o

Donut_Wizard 23

Sunday 18 March 2018 19:35

Everyone is thinking it, so I’m just going I say it. Chinese food... Dogs...

Comments

Alchemist_21 26

Monday 19 March 2018 17:33

Clearly that fortune was made by someone who forgot to set their clock forward, so the fortune ended up lagging behind.

DanielleinDC 33

Tuesday 20 March 2018 1:14

Oy. That's an unfortunate coincidence. But hey, your family is supportive enough to buy you dinner after a bad day at work.

Chris Smith_1291676952 8

Wednesday 21 March 2018 1:15

Who knew Mark Twain was Chinese!

StrugsNotDrugs 19

Thursday 29 March 2018 6:06

Last year i got bit by a dog and was told to go get a tetanus/rabies shot. I don’t know if you find this info useful or not, but it’s better to be safe than sorry! I hope you weren’t bitten too badly and it heals soon!