Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I awoke to a series of almighty explosions in the middle of the night. Turns out I fell asleep with my AirPods in to a “Soothing rain” soundtrack, which had turned to “Storms and thunder” at some point. I pissed the bed. FML
Today, I went to sleep at 7am. I learned once that Indians used to drink tons of water before bed to force themselves awake so I did that in case my alarm (which I hooked up to my speakers) didn't work. The alarm worked, but the shock of the blasting sound made me pee my pants. FML
Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML
Today, my water pills are almost identical to my sleeping pills, so not only did I not get any sleep, I had to get up every 15-30 minutes to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
Today, as a lifelong insomnia sufferer, I was having an awful night. After tossing and turning in my bed for several hours, I decided to try sleeping on the couch. Not only did I finally fall asleep, I was having one of the best dreams of my life… Until my neighbor’s brat had a tantrum at 6 a.m. FML
Today, after having hardly any sleep the whole weekend, I was woken up at 3:30 am by the sound of running water. I opened my eyes to find my fiancé peeing in my favorite water bottle. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my own voice yelling, “GET UP, YOU LAZY CUNT!” on repeat. It took me a moment to remember I'd drunkenly recorded my own alarm last night because I thought it would “motivate” me. It scared me so much I fell off the bed. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pleonasm 36
MPee3 player did you say?
Olympiakos10 15
I guess those weren't the wet dreams you were hoping for.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
cheer21moose 13
Don't drink anything for the two hours before bed and that shouldn't happen again. Congrats on the sleep!
150493x 29
Maybe try some music that is relaxing? It might not be the same but it is worth a try. Good luck!
wolfgirl1 4
Try counting backwards from 100 a few times it helps sometimes to be in a really dark room
happymum_fml 10
Audio book does the trick. for me. And I have an Android app called Sleeptimer to turn it off after a set time. iPhone doesn't need the app. You can just use the alarm timer.
meaghanromo 7
It's okay we all have our secrets