Health, Food and Pranks: NO SNACKS

NO SNACKS

By face - 25/03/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 265

You deserved it 10 693

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Busted!

By Anonymous - 05/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was secretly snacking on my roommate’s chips. I heard her coming, so I shoved the chips under my bed and pretended to read. She came in, sniffed the air, and said, "I know you stole my chips. The evidence is on your face." I had orange cheese dust all over my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 161

High school is hell

By Ani - 17/12/2021 10:58

Today, a "friend" of mine decided stealing my very low amount of sticky notes repetitively to make origami and show off was okay, even though I had repeatedly asked her to stop. Then, when I snapped, I was the bad guy, and everyone who was around started stealing my pencil case to get them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 221

Quiet!

By faaail - 24/03/2015 16:51 - Ireland - Cork

Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 866

You deserved it 3 992

By Anonymous - 25/01/2017 04:00

Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 266

You deserved it 3 370

Kids, it doesn't get any better

By Anonymous - 15/03/2020 03:02

Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 869

You deserved it 131

By drugsforthugs - 18/11/2014 17:26 - United States - Sierra Madre

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 284

You deserved it 4 444

Stay safe, stay home

By Anonymous - 17/03/2020 05:30

Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 216

By rie - 24/12/2009 00:29 - Ireland

Today, I found out my college friends are going to attack me after Christmas and attempt to tickle me to death. All because they know that I hate to be tickled. They are also going to make a Facebook group dedicated to the matter so people can join in if they wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 444

You deserved it 5 425

By fretting - 08/09/2016 17:02 - United States - Fort White

Today, my co-worker, who used to be in a frat with me in college, decided to tell all my coworkers as well as my boss all the stupid things I did in college, starting with the time a girl stole my clothes and I had to walk across campus naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 083

You deserved it 1 757

By sockmonkey - 01/05/2012 02:21 - United States - Corona

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends, and now it's all over Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 793

You deserved it 4 285

cococola 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 19:59

wow your friends are assholes

SonofVBeach 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:05

Clearly you snack too much, and you have friends who care...you are a loved gorger.

Comments

cococola 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 19:59

wow your friends are assholes

MagnoliaFrog 0

Sunday 21 March 2010 4:45

lmfao that's awesome. good prank

WTSchool 0

Friday 3 September 2010 22:59

I would love your friends. xD

fence4good 0

Sunday 22 April 2012 6:13

I dont get how this is a problem....

Toxic_John 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:00

dude they took it a lil to much

abrons 0

Tuesday 11 September 2012 5:16

To far**

SomeRandomGuy15 18

Tuesday 5 March 2013 17:31

*too far.

JackTheRipper_fml 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:01

well they're doing you a favor fatty

vvtumblesbee 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:04

they're pretty crappy friends.

TEAZO 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:04

well i wouldn't say they were ur friends if they do shit like that.

nicelander 1

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:04

Don't feed Don Vito!

troyboyd05 0

Monday 1 March 2010 5:59

It's don't feed Phil. Dumb ****.

wrest13 0

Saturday 9 October 2010 6:14

So close, but no.

SonofVBeach 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:05

Clearly you snack too much, and you have friends who care...you are a loved gorger.

kwbuzz23wk 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:06

thats ****** up, doctor a photo of one of them ******* a blow up doll or something.

mushroomcloud 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:06

LMAO. AMAZING

greenman_fml 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:06

is this an FML also because it's a weed reference? or just because you're fat and prolong your fatness with snacks?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I took my 8 year-old daughter to an airplane museum to show her the kinds of aircraft I’ve worked on during my 30+ year career. In the first 15 minutes, I had grease on my new shirt, bumped my head, spilled coffee and cut my hand. Sums up my career. Only 10 more years to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 237

Today, my dad has been faking social anxiety to make me feel like there's something wrong with me. How do I know? Because I actually have social anxiety, and he not only shows no symptoms of it, but he also has a lot of misconceptions about it that he would know are false if he actually did have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 180

The Top

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 818

You deserved it 192

Today, I was having a conversation with my husband when our daughter walked in and shouted at us, “For god's sake, will you two either stop shouting or buy some fucking hearing aids.” That’s when we realised we might be going deaf, given that we've been saying “Pardon?” or “What?” without noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 247

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 4 227

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me, years after it happened. I live with him and have been paying his rent, and have been completely oblivious of the fact all this time. Of course, it was also with the girl he told me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 177

Today, I accidentally sharted during sex with a guy I’ve been seeing. I was seriously embarrassed, but he was excited about “new territory we can explore together.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 254

Today, I learned that Guru Tugginmypudha was right, two elephants humping is the ultimate distraction, as in, when two elephants started humping during my kids' trip to the zoo, a mad crowd of idiots rushed to watch, and somewhere in the middle of it all I clearly felt a pickpocket steal my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 148

NO SNACKS

Same thing different taste

Busted!

High school is hell

Quiet!

Kids, it doesn't get any better

Stay safe, stay home

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