Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke to a series of almighty explosions in the middle of the night. Turns out I fell asleep with my AirPods in to a “Soothing rain” soundtrack, which had turned to “Storms and thunder” at some point. I pissed the bed. FML
Today, I went to sleep at 7am. I learned once that Indians used to drink tons of water before bed to force themselves awake so I did that in case my alarm (which I hooked up to my speakers) didn't work. The alarm worked, but the shock of the blasting sound made me pee my pants. FML
Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML
Today, my water pills are almost identical to my sleeping pills, so not only did I not get any sleep, I had to get up every 15-30 minutes to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
Today, as a lifelong insomnia sufferer, I was having an awful night. After tossing and turning in my bed for several hours, I decided to try sleeping on the couch. Not only did I finally fall asleep, I was having one of the best dreams of my life… Until my neighbor’s brat had a tantrum at 6 a.m. FML
Today, after having hardly any sleep the whole weekend, I was woken up at 3:30 am by the sound of running water. I opened my eyes to find my fiancé peeing in my favorite water bottle. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my own voice yelling, “GET UP, YOU LAZY CUNT!” on repeat. It took me a moment to remember I'd drunkenly recorded my own alarm last night because I thought it would “motivate” me. It scared me so much I fell off the bed. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
MPee3 player did you say?
Olympiakos10 15
I guess those weren't the wet dreams you were hoping for.
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Comments (65)
sassy2085 16
Try downloading an app with those sounds that have a timer function and stop after an hour. Your sheets will thank you. :)
streetriots 9
Download a binaural tone app. The apps I downloaded have timers to shut off. They are also useful for other ailments.
streetriots 9
Yeah I didn't read all the comments. Apologies.
worldclassrager 41
Maybe some slow relaxing music will work better...
klimrod89_fml 2
Wouldn't mind share what kind of music you were listening to?
cassbird09 12
I listen to rain storms each night but I tend to set it to go off after an hour. I've never woken after its gone off.
Strrrrrange 12
Try finding something that doesn't loop all night :) Then you can fall asleep and possibly not end up wetting the bed. And it saves energy too!
SasquatchDeluxe 10
YDI for not knowing that "side-effect" of listening to water.
silvanna 6
You should of used an IPeed:)
MrGeekBoi 2
Sleep timers are wonderful things.
Jack_The_Unicorn 5
But did you wake up?