Love: Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked... - FML

By murphy - 02/02/2009 10:49 - United States

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 414

You deserved it 4 130

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 452

You deserved it 15 020

By YOURMOM - 31/12/2011 07:24 - United States

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 047

You deserved it 6 001

Red or grey?

By Cherry - 11/02/2023 02:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 1 357

Forever alone

By forever alone - 27/03/2022 16:00

Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 176

By karmavictim - 18/03/2011 11:28

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 092

You deserved it 10 933

Cute

By eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 478

You deserved it 15 513

By susiedoggles - 05/11/2018 08:00 - United States - Milford

Today, getting home after a long day of work, my boyfriend came running out of the house. Being silly, I thought he was excited to see me. Nope - he was excited to show me the squirrel he shot. In the house. Apparently, we have house squirrels and a boatload of holes in the floor and couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 012

You deserved it 308

Forever the bridesmaid

By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 14:02

Today, after watching my roommate and her boyfriend be all lovey dovey for months, I now have to watch two of our other friends flirting as well. I'm painfully single and have been struggling to change that for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 216

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 681

You deserved it 5 350

By psh_idontbite - 13/03/2015 03:55 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 714

You deserved it 3 555

Next

Top comments

easrc 5

Sunday 1 March 2009 19:28

I know exactly how you feel...

k99 5

Friday 26 August 2011 20:21

He said "engaging in mating rituals" because it really sounds better than"two squirrels *******:". And nothing is wrong with his'big words', there actual words that real people use and stupid people hate people who know these words because it makes them feel insecure. I'm sorry dude, a smart guy like you should be able to find a girl soon except for the fact they all want an idiot like #28

Comments

der_Jabberwhock 0

Friday 26 June 2009 20:32

LOL FYL indeed. Ive been there.

pentameter 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 13:17

#4 FTW

callicoat 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 0:51

you people don't have lives.

Violet_Embers95 22

Tuesday 16 December 2014 4:28

and you are a jerk.

hawxfighter_fml 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 21:37

who dosent? (jk)

Mylees 0

Sunday 10 October 2010 9:47

get a room! you damn squirrels

michabailey 8

Tuesday 2 November 2010 17:03

Guys -- listen to Stuff You Should Know. You don't mean jealousy -- it's envy. Jealousy is when you feel losing something you have, such as a significant other.

yupitstupps 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 5:53

you say "engaging in mating rituals"? no wonder you're single, loser.

astriofou 0

Monday 25 April 2011 14:43

so whats more pathetic: using big words to describe your wondrous adventures in animal ****? or that you envy them?

stupdude3 8

Thursday 14 July 2011 21:34

#28 Learn English. Jealousy and envy mean the exact same thing, except envy can be used as a verb.

sayitagain 9

Monday 15 August 2011 4:17

Whenever I see a squirrel I totally feel the need to **** them! Jk jk!

k99 5

Friday 26 August 2011 20:21

He said "engaging in mating rituals" because it really sounds better than"two squirrels *******:". And nothing is wrong with his'big words', there actual words that real people use and stupid people hate people who know these words because it makes them feel insecure. I'm sorry dude, a smart guy like you should be able to find a girl soon except for the fact they all want an idiot like #28

Dale_shackleford 13

Thursday 28 July 2016 0:21

I agree with your point, but it sounds like the op purposely made it more complicated and ended up sounding like he was trying too hard.

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The Top

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 720

You deserved it 4 756

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

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You deserved it 10 100

The Top

Today, I went to my best friend's house to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years. When I walked in, she was having sex with my best friend's 37-year-old brother. She then yelled, ”You should have knocked first!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 909

You deserved it 354

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 613

You deserved it 5 418

Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 590

You deserved it 2 539

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 125

You deserved it 55 431

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 4 911

Today, I looked up my current boyfriend's ex's TikTok, and I realized how much I look like her. So now I'm wondering if he's only dating me to get over her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 511