Miscellaneous: Today, there was a story called "Looking Good" about fashion... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 1

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 90

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 43

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 25

05/03/2009 21:36

Today, there was a story called "Looking Good" about fashion in school that ran in the local newspaper. On the front page of that section it featured a picture of my class. I was photoshopped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 971

You deserved it 4 993

Hiding from the drama

Another great day to be alive

Sorry…

19/01/2011 19:19

Today, my boyfriend spent an hour lecturing me on how I need to ask for what I want. So I asked him to delete a crappy picture he'd taken of me the night before. His response: "No, you don't always get what you want." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 330

You deserved it 9 467

18/09/2009 13:33

Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 933

You deserved it 2 321

09/12/2008 13:50

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I crunched my pen and crushed my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 309

You deserved it 6 670

It's Cat-Dog!

By Deceptive Dog 1242 - 23/08/2018 14:30

Today, I pulled something out of my tiny 6 month old puppy's mouth, thinking it was a cord that he had gotten a hold of. As it turns out, it was a baby mouse he had caught and killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 340

You deserved it 264

28/11/2011 03:03

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 150

You deserved it 10 470

17/12/2009 15:46

Today, I went in for an interview at my dream job. When I walked in, I got a dirty look from the front desk secretary. Turns out, the guy interviewing me was from a dating website I'm on. I'd rejected him and told him to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 686

You deserved it 34 891

DST FML

By Anonymous - 06/10/2021 08:00

Today, my partner and I spent the last 3 days transitioning our 19 month-olds bedtime by 15 minutes each day for daylight savings, only to find out we've been going the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 1 069

23/05/2013 23:25

Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 624

You deserved it 2 791

Delayed

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 07:59

Today, the psychiatrist who I've been relying on to evaluate my condition to give me some real help, who I've been waiting on my appointment with for three months, suddenly rescheduled me until February next year. Why? Because she's "not working that day". I can't afford to see anyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 65

17/05/2009 02:21

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and asked, "Mom, why are we so poor?" I replied, in a sweet motherly tone "Honey, we're not poor." She then asked, "Then why do you dress like we are poor?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 888

You deserved it 8 187

28/08/2018 06:00

Today, my boyfriend's dog, which he got even though he knew I was allergic, literally got in between us while we were having sex. He didn't stop and got mad when I did. Now I'm itchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 899

You deserved it 328

22/12/2011 15:23

Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 213

You deserved it 68 857

06/12/2011 02:31

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 667

You deserved it 45 943

31/01/2014 22:08

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 346

You deserved it 9 038

06/05/2016 11:34

Today, my parents "suggested" I help them move house. I didn't realize that meant I would be carrying every stick of furniture out of their house. The muscles in my arms are so tight now that I can't straighten them. I can't wait to help them unpack tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 174

You deserved it 1 699

29/01/2012 19:09

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. I presented her with an oil painting of her that I'd been working on for over a month, and she started to cry. I thought it was because she liked it, until she asked if she really looks that ugly and disproportionate in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 918

You deserved it 3 849

20/09/2016 13:04

Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 752

You deserved it 1 859

05/03/2012 00:27

Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 377

You deserved it 47 913

18/08/2015 03:39

Today, a guy asked me out on Facebook, then called me a conceited bitch when I said no. I don't know, dude; maybe it's just that I already have a boyfriend, that you asked me out on Facebook, and that you posted the same message on 4 other girls' walls as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 378

You deserved it 1 862

20/04/2017 18:00

Today, my Darwin Award-nominated cousin got himself admitted to the hospital because he substituted the hammer and screwdriver for a meat tenderizer and a knife when he couldn't find the toolbox. The one I clearly labeled "TOOLS" in giant letters to avoid this situation from happening again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 101

You deserved it 307

15/01/2016 16:25

Today, I told my mother that, after years of cheating and abuse, I'm finally getting a divorce. Her reaction was deep concern that my husband might not want to "be friends" with the rest of the family any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 279

You deserved it 1 544

17/03/2010 07:05

Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 600

You deserved it 5 112

15/03/2011 05:58

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 136

You deserved it 13 136

11/07/2018 20:30

Today, it's my birthday. I am a triplet. In my first class, everyone sang happy birthday to my sister. Her friends got her balloons too. My other sister's friends got her flowers. Everyone forgot I was their sister and all of my own friends forgot that it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 883

You deserved it 266

05/08/2013 05:28

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 455

You deserved it 18 271

11/06/2009 05:08

Today, I was eating lunch with my wife. We were having a nice time when a man came up to me. He said, "Hey! Bill how are you?" I wasn't really sure, so being polite I said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." He frowned and walked away. It was my company's Chairman of the Board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 259

You deserved it 54 520

Mom gets some

By not a photographer - 21/06/2020 08:08

Today, my mom asked me to take a picture of her and a friend before they went out to dinner. I was getting ready to take the picture when I noticed the box showing the most recent picture. It was a nude. Of my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 128

17/10/2009 02:27

Spicy

Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 896

You deserved it 4 460

19/01/2015 23:58

Today, while on my driving test, the guy told me to pull over and do a U-turn. A few minutes later, he asked me to do another one. After the test, he said I'd failed because the second U-turn was illegal, and I should have refused to comply. I didn't know they're even allowed do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 007

You deserved it 5 507

No joking please

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 02:08

Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked, "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 900

You deserved it 7 682

28/09/2013 11:44

Spicy

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 611

You deserved it 40 227

15/10/2011 06:58

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 435

You deserved it 8 343

Movie worthy

By Pirated booty - 11/05/2021 04:01

Today, after I found gold coins a few years ago, nothing newsworthy but enough to pay off my parents' mortgage, some landowning douche, who is already a millionaire, is now claiming the lake where I found the coins is his, and is suing me for the coins' full value. If I lose in court, my parents may have to sell their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 88

11/04/2009 20:43

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 377

You deserved it 88 653

10/03/2012 23:37

Today, my mother screamed and swore at me because I said I was looking to move out soon. Apparently, the idea of me moving out at 27 and her getting a job to pay her own way is devastating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 272

You deserved it 2 956

13/04/2009 16:12

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 696

You deserved it 25 435

24/07/2009 09:32

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the guy I've liked for a long time. He's a cashier at a grocery store. It was about 1am and I was his last customer, everything seemed just right. Just when I was about to ask him to the movies, a drunk girl stumbles in and asks him out. He said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 574

You deserved it 6 937

09/12/2018 13:00

Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose ‘to prove that she’s responsible’. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 405

You deserved it 661

04/07/2009 20:21

Today, after spending two days cleaning my car inside and out, I had to pick up my brother when his truck died in the mountains, on a dirt road. He was drunk. I now have a car covered in mud and filled with vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 378

You deserved it 3 125

05/11/2015 20:52

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 676

You deserved it 2 507

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Friday 6 March 2009 1:04

Damn... That is harsh.

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Friday 6 March 2009 1:05

xD If i was in your class I probably would have been edited out too. Don't feel bad.

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Friday 6 March 2009 1:04

Damn... That is harsh.

Fumo 0

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Friday 4 June 2010 20:17

I don't believe it, could you be mistaking anaccidental crop-out for a photoshop?

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Friday 6 May 2011 7:39

maybe she looked bad and thy didn't want to put up an embarrassing photo, we do that in yearbook

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Friday 6 March 2009 1:05

touch luck. maybe you need some fashion tips?

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Friday 6 March 2009 1:05

xD If i was in your class I probably would have been edited out too. Don't feel bad.

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Monday 1 March 2010 3:59

me too hahahaaa maybe not if it were showing the weeirdossss(:

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Thursday 22 April 2010 17:22

Correct. EDITED out. Not Photoshopped out. There's more than one photo editing software. I hate idiots who say Photoshopped .

Frazzle_Dazzle 0

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Tuesday 27 July 2010 20:01

Hey, can you grab me a Band-aid and a Kleenex? I'll be over on the Davenport enjoying a Pop-Tart and a Coke while reading a Xeroxed copy of my favorite novel. And get me some Aspirin, while you're at it. Languages evolve. Better to grow accepting of others' preferred vocabulary than to act a fool. Besides, "Photoshopped" has a more specific meaning than "Editing", regardless of semantics, so the point comes across concisely while still being recognized by the vast majority of people. Don't be a tool.

rollingmyeyes 0

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Friday 6 March 2009 1:09

hm. i want to be sympathetic, but how well can you take care of yourself for them to take such extreme measures to exclude you? you must have been singled out for a reason; use this as a wake up call and try to present yourself in a professional, put together way from now on. on the other hand, that sucks and i'm sorry you were embarrassed in such a way and i wanna give you a hug. :(

PaisleyKing90 0

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Thursday 21 April 2011 2:27

dang I wish you could give me advice, but I mean, I'm already a pretty darn fashionable person! haha but forreal that was way too long of a comment

Shane_Huckeba 0

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Friday 6 March 2009 1:11

ahhahah owned.

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Friday 6 March 2009 1:20

ooo. Same thing happened to me, only it was a class photo for their interweb news letter. hurt like a betch. <3 I feel for yah.

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Friday 6 March 2009 1:27

Ouch, are you that badly dressed?....either way, Harsh. although if it was for a fashion expose....

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Friday 6 March 2009 1:29

awesome

curious_missy 0

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Friday 6 March 2009 1:30

or maybe someone on the newspaper staff doesn't like you... I was the editor of a page in my hs, I chose pics to make ppl I didn't like look bad. No one read it either way...lol

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Friday 6 March 2009 1:40

Were you really "photoshopped out" or were you "cropped out" because there's a pretty big difference? You probably wouldn't be as offended if it were the latter; sometimes pictures just have to be certain dimensions and cropping is often times better than resizing.