Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
Today, my brother's refused to shower after 2 weeks of dripping sweat and never changing clothes. He claims the smell is just his "manly musk" and if I can't handle it, then maybe I'm the problem. FML
Today, my uncle called me at work, telling me to rush him to the doctor's. I get home and he doesn't"t want to go anywhere. He says he has the chills, so I turn on the furnace. Next he says he's too hot, and stripped to his underwear. I ask him to let me take him to doctor. He does nothing. Work is expecting me to bring a doctor's note tomorrow. FML
Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML
Today, my mom tells my sister that she is worried about her because she has a headache and feels like she might be getting a slight cold. I have had the flu for two weeks and have a 103 degree fever. I ask, "What about me?" Her response? "Stay away from your sister." FML
Today, my brother has two broken arms and needs help wiping his own ass. Bonus, he has bad diarrhoea from the food poisoning he got from the shrimp he made me hand-feed him yesterday. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Today, snow finally arrived in my area, in very large quantities. Also today, I seem to have caught my dad's cold. The town is too snowed in for traveling and my medications are running low, so I guess we'll suffer together. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML
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Top comments
metallica_wins 20
Maybe tell him to "man" up?
rhcpgurl 18
Guys are usually like that. If men had periods, they'd check into the hospital for a week per month and drugged up on morphine.
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Comments (83)
Andrew4263 12
the man cold is a serious thing and shouldn't be tooken lightly
Cheez_Mastah 10
"tooken"? Really?
worldclassrager 41
It always starts with a sniffle...then it gets worse... If he thinks he is dying he is not a man at all...
tj4234 36
You know there is a scientific theory that suggests men genuinely do get more ill than women do for these common illnesses, and as a result get over it quicker. The theory suggests that because men were the hunters they couldn't afford to be ill for weeks on end but women living at home could. So humans evolved in a way that means men get more ill than women, but for a shorter period. It has a number of look holes such as the fact that in some societies, women go/went out hunting as well. But it is still a theory. And, it hasn't been completely disproven...
hayjay2000 8
That is bullshit in my opinion. Like stated, in a lot of tribes women also hunted quite often. Plus, he literally just has the sniffles. If only men got periods they would go nuts and kill themselves.
d4m4s74 12
If men got periods, or if men would get pregnant, or if men could do anything extremely painful that only women can our bodies would be prepared for that, and we would experience it the same way as women do now. But really, if men would get pregnant, have periods and all that jazz, they'd technically just be women.
Xotoolyxo 16
Drop him off at the doctors and leave
jarockstar27 10
What is up with men and acting like babies when they are sick? Seriously....
psycheiris13 20
Haha women have to put up with so much shit on top of going through colds, pregnancy and the like. On top of that they usually still work/go to school and take care of the household duties, children and their husbands. Tell him to man up and take a ColdFX, he'll be just fine.
norwegianboip 17
The man cold is real !
jesterkitty4 14
So what if guys act like babies when they get a cold. I enjoy taking care of my bf when he catches a cold, he doesn't have to do anything except get better. Sometimes people like to be taken care of when they're sick.
hayjay2000 8
Well for starters, some men expect the women to do all the cooking cleaning and working while sick. Secondly, IT'S LITERALLY THE ******* SNIFFLES. Guys don't have to go through any pain except when they get kicked in the balls but that doesn't happen every month for 7 days along with other symptoms and having to push a watermelon out of a hole in their body.
jesterkitty4 14
I'm not talking about the sniffles compared to giving birth. When anyone is really sick who doesn't like to be taken are of? Most guys expect the work like that to be done yes, but thankfully I have a bf who doesn't think like that at all. That's why I have no problem taking care if him when he's sicker than "just the ******* sniffles".
sanecatlady 13
My mother once told me that when my dad gets a cold he tries to do everything he normally does and ignore it, and she has to watch him and make sure he doesn't get really sick because he has lung problems.
idknicholle 14
My boyfriend does, I have to comfort him and lay with him. make him food, tell him to take medicine.