By tricia_11 - 05/12/2016 22:15

Today, I told my husband of 26 years that I was lonely. He asked what he could do to help. I said, "Just talk to me". Without a word, he went to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 034
You deserved it 859

tricia_11 tells us more.

That man hasn't worked a day in almost 5 years. He took an early retirement and sits home all day. I work my ass off. I have a 3 hour daily commute on top of my work day. After sitting on his ass all day, he needs to cook me my favorite meal, give me the best sex ever and worship me for taking care of him! Yet, I'm thinking of myself? Get real.

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OP I was lonely and depressed for years. Had no idea why - husband of 15 years, good job, lovely family. His response when I shared how I felt was "What do you want me to say?" and walked away. One weekend I observed our interaction and realised he'd gone the entire weekend without saying one word to me. I left him. Biggest decision of my life. But I regret nothing and I haven't felt lonely since. Alone, sure. But not isolated and lonely. Good luck OP. xx

Maybe have that conversation some time other than in bed at the end of the day. I hope his response is better then.

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After 26 years you would think he'd learn but they don't. I've been in my relationship (not married) for 4.5 yrs and he does this to me all the time. I'm sorry OP

Learn what? A marriage is supposed to be about equals. Should one partner learn that the other person's happiness depends entirely on them?

Learn not to fall asleep when you're tired? How about you learn not to get PMS anymore?

Maybe have that conversation some time other than in bed at the end of the day. I hope his response is better then.

It was midday.

I guess my point was that falling asleep is something that might have to do with his tiredness rather than him not caring, especially as he had specifically asked how he could help. I hope he's talked to you more since then.

OP I was lonely and depressed for years. Had no idea why - husband of 15 years, good job, lovely family. His response when I shared how I felt was "What do you want me to say?" and walked away. One weekend I observed our interaction and realised he'd gone the entire weekend without saying one word to me. I left him. Biggest decision of my life. But I regret nothing and I haven't felt lonely since. Alone, sure. But not isolated and lonely. Good luck OP. xx

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It would be funny if it were someone else. But it was no joke.

Been there :(

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just a note. you're a donkey.

are you fucking kidding me? you have no proof he does any of this. Newsflash- this isn't 1800. Women can work for themselves, cook, clean, pay their own bills, and take care of their partner if it becomes necessary. He's not a fucking hero for being a functioning adult human being. To the OP- maybe his response had to do with the fact that it was bedtime and he was tired. But if not, then you might need to try couples' counseling or even potentially leave him. Just because you've been married for 26 years doesn't mean that people don't need to feel loved or cared about

I think OP's husband decided to make an account In all seriousness though, you've no idea who's the 'breadwinner' of the family. Not that it should matter- spouses should support each other emotionally no matter who's supporting more financially.

That man hasn't worked a day in almost 5 years. He took an early retirement and sits home all day. I work my ass off. I have a 3 hour daily commute on top of my work day. After sitting on his ass all day, he needs to cook me my favorite meal, give me the best sex ever and worship me for taking care of him! Yet, I'm thinking of myself? Get real.

"Get some medication," unless she has a diagnosed condition, that's unnecessary. You shouldn't just throw medication at feelings and suppress them if it can be fixed another way. How about her husband just does his god damn job as a husband and gives her some emotional support. Wanting your spouse to show they care is not being selfish, you shouldn't feel lonely within your own relationship, that will just deteriorate your mental health if it's not fixed in some way. Also, even if OP was being supported by her husband, which she clearly isn't, that is not an excuse to be neglectful of your partner and be so dismissive of their feelings. If you don't give emotional support to your spouse within the relationship, then it is doomed.

Tricia, grow up. You've been married to this man for 26 years. You'd think you know how he is by now. It's not his fault you chose a job with a three hour commute. It's not his fault you chose to marry an older man. But you did marry him "for better or worse". Grow up and stop blaming all your troubles on someone else. Look in the mirror. If only there was a social media outlet where you could contact friends and family so you wouldn't be lonely... oh wait... give me a break

The said "early retirement" as in he's probably younger than the general retirement age. And even so, how do you know he's older? Why does it matter? So talking to friends and family is okay? But your own spouse, who lives in the same house? Oh no, you shouldn't bother them with your problems. What is wrong with you?

Sure, let me find a friend to talk to and do the things with that I should be doing with my husband. oh wait, that's called an affair! From the way you are talking, you have a perfect marriage. Congratulations. Aren't you wonderful and very assuming!

The more I read your answers, the more I realise that you don't see any solution here and that your unhappiness goes way past loneliness. Maybe you need to make that clear, and if you already have, think about whether it would be better to end the marriage.

Unless all this changed recently, I'm not sure what the issue is. If he's always been this way, and this is the way he was when you married him, then there's really no one to blame here other than yourself. Don't marry someone with the expectation of changing them. If he DID change recently, perhaps there's a root cause to it that you need to look into.

" After sitting on his ass all day, he needs to cook me my favorite meal, give me the best sex ever and worship me for taking care of him!" Do you have any idea you've basically turned into a man from the 1800s?

no offense to the guy but fuck that trade his ass in for a love toy

I don't know about you but I think/hope she was quoting the person who's comment got moderated.

I was just turning around the quote from someone who said I should do this for my husband. I certainly don't feel this way.

I am in nearly the same boat! When I ask my boyfriend to talk to me he's always busy playing video games with his friends, which he does all day anyway. Out of the past four or five times I've tried to talk to him he answered once. Sometimes men suck dude idk

Play Videogames, share his hobby. You might actually become a lot closer.

you should get counseling

I like how you got all of that information from her post asshole, and I bet you're single as fuck because this is your mentality

My parents have been married for 41 years. I am the baby of the family, so my mom doesn't really talk to me about stuff like this.... but i read your post in her voice, and all i could think was, "but I'll talk to you, mom...."

Both of our kids have moved out in the past 2 years. I guess that just adds to the loneliness. Always listen to your mom. That's the best thing you can do.

So, empty nest syndrome on top of all else. That seriously sucks. It may be time for the word no husband wants to hear: counseling.

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He should pay more attention but why bring this up when going to bed?

maybe part of the loneliness was sexually

If you look at OP's reply to #3, it wasn't when they were going to bed, it was midday.

You just need some friends or other couples to do stuff together with. Or a job if you don't already have one. Being around other people + having someone to be around when you get home should help.