linzl00
Springfield, United States
Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Calhan, United States
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
sickmom
New Orleans, United States
Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
FuckingDone
Enterprise, United States
Today, my brother's refused to shower after 2 weeks of dripping sweat and never changing clothes. He claims the smell is just his "manly musk" and if I can't handle it, then maybe I'm the problem. FML
Anonymous
False alarm
Today, my uncle called me at work, telling me to rush him to the doctor's. I get home and he doesn't"t want to go anywhere. He says he has the chills, so I turn on the furnace. Next he says he's too hot, and stripped to his underwear. I ask him to let me take him to doctor. He does nothing. Work is expecting me to bring a doctor's note tomorrow. FML
Let it bleed
United States
Lockdown throwback!
Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my mom tells my sister that she is worried about her because she has a headache and feels like she might be getting a slight cold. I have had the flu for two weeks and have a 103 degree fever. I ask, "What about me?" Her response? "Stay away from your sister." FML
Anonymous
Today, my brother has two broken arms and needs help wiping his own ass. Bonus, he has bad diarrhoea from the food poisoning he got from the shrimp he made me hand-feed him yesterday. FML
blarghhhh
Owosso, United States
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Snow joke, I feel like hell
United States
Plough me out
Today, snow finally arrived in my area, in very large quantities. Also today, I seem to have caught my dad's cold. The town is too snowed in for traveling and my medications are running low, so I guess we'll suffer together. FML
finalfantasy
Aurora, United States
Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML
Top comments
metallica_wins 20
Maybe tell him to "man" up?
rhcpgurl 18
Guys are usually like that. If men had periods, they'd check into the hospital for a week per month and drugged up on morphine.
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Comments (83)
lilbeanerman101 4
sounds like me hahaha sadly
tukies 28
Hey when you can't breath right, shit gets real.
piscesbabyy3592 7
What's the "man cold"?
LennyComa 39
Man Flu is a killer...My thoughts are with him in this dark hour.
pensacolalady 10
There's actually a website on this topic! Just google it! Here's part of what it says,
pensacolalady 10
Sorry, hit the wrong button. Anyway, The name 'man cold' disguises the true terrible, debilitating disease that is the man cold. Nearly all men will die from man colds unless they are administered immediately with large amounts of mindless TV such as daytime TV, or childrens' cartoons. It is essential that they not move from bed or a comfy sofa to allow for rehabilitation, and must have tissues and man cold medicine (such as chocolate biscuits, McDonalds, or a nice cup of tea) brought to them constantly by a nearby female.
ITxCExLxS 6
Man. I can't breathe through my nose and my throat is on fire, and my glands are swollen, but Mom is contemplating making me go to school because I've already missed two days =.=.
guriak 10
God I hate it when men over react like that lol
MissLily_fml 4
Give him a pacifier...jeez what a cry baby wimp.
CaroAurelia 12
Dude needs to take a page out of my dad's book. He could have tuberculosis and he'd either say he was fine or that he had a cough. (Then again, he's German American...)