By Anonymous - United States Today, the guy I have loved for seven years asked me to move in with him. Turns out he only did so because he needed someone to pay the rent since he's quit his job. FML I agree, your life sucks 35961 You deserved it 4915 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By damn - United States - Kenton Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML I agree, your life sucks 49342 You deserved it 7972 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By maybe dead in a day - United States - Buffalo Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML I agree, your life sucks 40773 You deserved it 4221 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML I agree, your life sucks 36010 You deserved it 4496 282 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Sherborne Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML I agree, your life sucks 46465 You deserved it 7505 165 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By southernpride93 - United States Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML I agree, your life sucks 34280 You deserved it 4166 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Jacksonville Today, I forgot my phone on the roof of my car. I took a 30 minute drive from my friend's city to my city. I got on to my driveway, surprised to see my phone still there. Thinking I'm really lucky, I pick up my phone. Then, I trip over a pebble, cracking my phone in the process. FML I agree, your life sucks 25816 You deserved it 4299 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By upset room mate - United States Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML I agree, your life sucks 25003 You deserved it 4278 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sam - Canada Today, I bought an iTunes giftcard worth $50. I tried to scratch off the little silver thing covering the code with a pair of scissors. I scratched so much that it's now unreadable. FML I agree, your life sucks 10754 You deserved it 58774 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Pillock - United Kingdom Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed already, but his music was pretty good, so I gave him some spare change. As soon as I turned away, he started screaming at me for being "cheap", and chased me half a block before running out of breath. FML I agree, your life sucks 41623 You deserved it 4209 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Maldives Today, while using the bathroom I gave the toilet a courtesy flush, only for it to overflow and soak my pants. That would've been bad enough even if I hadn't been at work, with five hours left on my shift and no change of clothes. FML I agree, your life sucks 13216 You deserved it 1045 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By looser Today, I pronounced FAQ as 'fuck' to my boss. I'm not a native speaker. FML I agree, your life sucks 14639 You deserved it 1486 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Purple - United States - Fremont Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML I agree, your life sucks 41287 You deserved it 2905 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oped01 - United States - Cape Coral Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML I agree, your life sucks 10876 You deserved it 938 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML I agree, your life sucks 34537 You deserved it 8311 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By natrat222 - United States - Mesa Break up Today, I decided to eat a whole tub of blueberries before seeing a guy I've been hooked up with for a year and a half. While giving a blow job, I ended throwing up the blueberries right before he came. He left immediately, deleted me on Snapchat and told me I need to get checked out. FML I agree, your life sucks 2528 You deserved it 1032 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By iHateWorms - Australia Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML I agree, your life sucks 11477 You deserved it 33579 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By killmyself - United States Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML I agree, your life sucks 17304 You deserved it 46917 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BMike - United States Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML I agree, your life sucks 38468 You deserved it 2956 192 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML I agree, your life sucks 31559 You deserved it 5228 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mapleleafs34 - United States Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML I agree, your life sucks 28158 You deserved it 7281 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By zacharynedley - United States - Elkridge Today, I got fired from my job because my boss thinks that me doing everything he says makes me untrustworthy. FML I agree, your life sucks 32620 You deserved it 2335 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DrawingWaves - United States - Woodland Hills Today, my girlfriend tried to hook me up with a guy. It's the second time it happened since I met her. FML I agree, your life sucks 12416 You deserved it 1552 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By merchgirl - United States - Arlington Today, my mother-in-law scheduled her neck surgery for the same day our baby is being born. She also fully expects my husband to drive her to the hospital and stay for her recovery. Uh, yeah no. FML I agree, your life sucks 14508 You deserved it 1054 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nissan_David - United States Today, I was helping my friend put up a wooden fence at his new house. I was holding the sections of fence up while he nailed them in with an air powered nail gun. The gun malfunctioned and fired twice putting the second nail through my hand and into the wood. We had to pry the nail out. FML I agree, your life sucks 36350 You deserved it 2791 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ShockBait - United States Today, it was my next-door neighbor's birthday. Over the past year, his pitbull has attacked my stepdad several times and put some stiches on me. Lucky for us, the dog was finally put down. For his birthday my neighbor got a new, bigger, pitbull. FML I agree, your life sucks 37545 You deserved it 5887 311 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Sharon Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML I agree, your life sucks 50601 You deserved it 3706 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GDubeau24 - Canada - Cornwall Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML I agree, your life sucks 45964 You deserved it 2845 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cheer4Life - United States - Bloomington Today, after making several comments about how I didn't exactly look thin, my boyfriend said, "Well, at least we know you'll look good pregnant." FML I agree, your life sucks 46054 You deserved it 10153 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Eheath12Jheath14 Today, my boyfriend and I welcomed our first son into the world. After I gave birth, he said he was going home to make sure the house was ready for baby. A few hours later, he was tagged in a Facebook photo by a mutual friend at the local bar. FML I agree, your life sucks 4194 You deserved it 466 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gimmeabreak0_o - United States Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 15224 You deserved it 38613 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jadkins - Netherlands Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia who is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of 2 years called and proposed to her. FML I agree, your life sucks 56625 You deserved it 22129 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ANON - United States - Sacramento Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 53905 You deserved it 19081 180 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Neanderthals walk among us - Hungary - Budapest Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML I agree, your life sucks 51435 You deserved it 3135 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By moron - United Kingdom Today, I dropped my hair straightener. The good news is I caught it. The bad news is I caught it by the iron itself. FML I agree, your life sucks 36176 You deserved it 7471 205 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RuasaLove - United States - Pleasantville Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML I agree, your life sucks 30296 You deserved it 8838 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By malebonding - United States Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML I agree, your life sucks 67193 You deserved it 14860 210 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gorillalove - United States Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML I agree, your life sucks 44150 You deserved it 10498 336 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nick Today, my girlfriend of almost 5 years (who broke up with me only a week or so ago) told me that she's been speaking to one of my best friends and sees a future with him instead of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2157 You deserved it 165 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sleepless - Australia Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 45845 You deserved it 4233 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML I agree, your life sucks 576 You deserved it 171 2 Comments
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so... I agree, your life sucks 989 You deserved it 159 11 Comments