Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML
Today, at the gym, I caught sight of myself in the mirror while lifting weights and thought, “Damn, I look good!” I smiled. Then I realized the mirror was actually a window. A group of people outside had been watching me flex with a shit-eating grin on my face for God know how long. FML
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML
Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, I was running around the track at school PE with a lot of other students. I noticed a guy who smelled really bad and I thought to myself how disgusting that was and I felt bad for him. Later, I was changing and caught a whiff of my shirt. It wasn't him who was smelly. FML
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Top comments
Sunako_fml 9
That's just disgusting..
Welshite 40
What a disgusting habit. You deserve the contempt of your peers.
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Comments (272)
ierik13 1
I needed that good laugj
IdleGear 0
After realizing they where watching you should of licked you fingers! idk about yours but my ball sweat tastes like a very berry chiller from McDonalds! It's delicious!
imavelociraptor 6
What dafuq is a "smelt"????!
noisebox 1
Do you do that with your butt too?
ejcskier 0
Am I the only one who noticed he put "smelt" instead of "smelled" there is a big difference between those words
RockinRoyaltyxD 13
Well aren't u ******* disgusting. :)
roachyroo 5
I went to school with a scratch and sniffer. Are you a digger as well?
tanktanktank 1
As a Marine veteran, I don't scratch and sniff and have never witnessed any of my compatriots doing the same, I ask that you don't join the Marines. We don't need any more gross-ass weirdos. Also, don't affiliate your name with the Marine Corps until you've earned it, you dick-scratching/sniffing mongoloid.
Alaskagirl2023 8
It's not the fact that your whole gym was watching that disturbs me, it the fact that that was 'out of habit' ...
Kade20 4
Who does that? Lol scratch your balls, that's fine. But DON'T SMELL IT?!