Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelled my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML
Today, at the gym, I caught sight of myself in the mirror while lifting weights and thought, “Damn, I look good!” I smiled. Then I realized the mirror was actually a window. A group of people outside had been watching me flex with a shit-eating grin on my face for God know how long. FML
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML
Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, I was running around the track at school PE with a lot of other students. I noticed a guy who smelled really bad and I thought to myself how disgusting that was and I felt bad for him. Later, I was changing and caught a whiff of my shirt. It wasn't him who was smelly. FML
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Top comments
Sunako_fml 9
That's just disgusting..
Welshite 40
What a disgusting habit. You deserve the contempt of your peers.
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Comments (272)
amifaiyaz 12
how did that habit even form... ydi, that is nasty.
jwbfml 11
Isn't that what spotters are for?
luv_him6 6
Ewww who does that???
SexyStudd 1
I was just doing the old scratch and sniff as I was reading this lol
shanemcunt 10
Every guy does at some point... Just not always in public.
innominestanas 6
I really thought i was the only one... XD
CanCann 16
Sheesh, how hard were you scratching to have most of the gym staring at you??
Mademoiselle_fml 34
Smelt? You mean you melted your hand? Or do you mean you turned it into a fish? The smelt. You know. A fish. Ugh anywho it's "smelled." If I didn't get my point across. And I've done that, but not down there or in public. Eesh D:
Britt125 16
Smelt is not incorrect, you should look it up. Google is a very handy resource you know, and very easy to use. I know, because I just looked it up before saying anything. I was positive I was right, but I wanted to know I was before making an ass of myself. Smelled is also correct.
Rhondaplp 11
I love grammer & spelling comments. Out of the whole scratching nuts and sniffing fingers story you seem more focused on the spelling of words.
chippa 24
*grammar
taliayungdiva 9
I suggest you dont go back to that particular gym for a while until ppl forget...
ILoveShrimp 0
Wow, it's so funny how the women here are so disgusted by what Mr.Sniffer did, but I'm sure most of you have sucked a c•ck (unless you're **** ugly and no one wants you lol dickspits).