Kids: Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her...

By GidleyWife - 30/07/2015 17:22 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 318

You deserved it 2 376

Kids

Mother of the year

Mama's boy

Menace II Society

By Broke - 27/07/2016 16:38 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend and I are looking at places to stay to meet for the first time. I figured renting a small vacation apartment would be ideal because he's not able to help pay because he isn't working and I'm not rich. He's telling me he can only be comfortable in 4 star hotels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 916

You deserved it 2 298

By Tgreject - 16/08/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, I was planning on asking out a girl I've been really close to for a few months now. I was with her when I got a forward text from my friend. It was from the girl and it said "noooo tell him not to ask me out I don't like him." I got rejected via forward text before I told her how I felt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 418

You deserved it 3 145

By Noname - 13/03/2009 20:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 991

You deserved it 7 906

The price of love

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 20:00

Today, same-sex marriage is finally legal in my country. However, it's taken so long since I got engaged that our perfect wedding venue has gone out of business, and everywhere else is at least three times the price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 338

By Anonymous - 06/07/2012 10:42 - United States

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 499

You deserved it 3 512

By Nochnoii - 07/10/2009 20:07 - Belgium

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 583

You deserved it 13 214

By Anonymous - 28/11/2012 06:32 - United States - Madison

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 638

You deserved it 3 374

By kmyltd - 14/09/2016 06:18 - Australia - Mount Eliza

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 806

You deserved it 3 553

Obsession by Calvin Klein

By Carrie - 04/12/2020 20:02 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was at a party with my crush, but I didn’t talk to him. After, I walked out to my car, and saw a dent in my car. I then noticed that the dent was exactly the size of my crush’s head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 278

By Freebie - 17/06/2017 06:00 - United States - Altoona

Today, marks the third month that I have not received payment for work I did on web pages for a hospital chain. They owe me over $1,000. It will cost twice that to get a lawyer to force them to pay me what I'm owed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 719

You deserved it 347

By Puddlepop - 01/03/2016 09:20 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, in history class I was called "ignorant" and "inconsiderate" because I referred to Stalin as a "he". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 128

You deserved it 1 650

By razzmataz - 28/01/2009 13:38 - United States

Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 909

You deserved it 3 134

By Anon - 24/03/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 373

You deserved it 32 196

By Anonymous - 17/02/2015 19:17 - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 322

You deserved it 4 072

By deadhamster - 03/02/2012 18:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 379

You deserved it 5 031

By sisco2901 - 22/01/2012 09:12 - Slovakia

Today, my recent ex-girlfriend posted a photo of herself on Facebook. It was a picture of herself in the arms of a half-naked male stripper. She posted it on my wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 280

You deserved it 5 282

By nickyniknaim93 - 11/03/2009 06:07 - United States

Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years are in fact my father's pubic hair trimmers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 608

You deserved it 16 934

Late bloomers

By ihateparents - 21/07/2021 14:01

Today, I emailed out class requirements for the upcoming school year. I had to include, "No toys, no bottles, no pacifiers, and children must be fully potty trained in order to attend." At least 3 parents complained. I teach second grade, and none of them is special needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 56

By PlayboyBunny - 19/02/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 508

You deserved it 8 619

Nice try

By groundedasfuck - 24/05/2014 20:24 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 081

You deserved it 55 096

By theseguysarewhipped... - 06/10/2014 15:05 - Canada - London

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 622

You deserved it 5 216

By zzyx - 22/09/2009 03:19 - United States

Today, there was a fire alarm in my dorm. Just as I was leaving my room, a lady in the hallway told me that it was a drill and they'd be inspecting rooms, so I would need to leave my door unlocked. When I came back, my room was trashed and my laptop, speakers, and jewelry were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 599

You deserved it 16 873

By TiredHomeowner - 16/07/2018 15:00

Today, I realised just how skewed my reality is when I was pleasantly surprised that teenagers threw eggs at my windows. They usually throw rocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 281

You deserved it 202

By cole66 - 29/11/2015 18:43 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 413

You deserved it 3 136

By Anonymous - 02/03/2010 14:45 - United States

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 757

You deserved it 8 550

By Anonymous - 13/05/2012 15:12 - United States - Monson

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 841

You deserved it 4 041

Nice try

By Ma.Sa.La. - 27/02/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings - No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right… NO INTEREST." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 641

You deserved it 50 456

By notarobber - 15/05/2013 07:20 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 629

You deserved it 10 097

By Hey, thats not math!? - 09/08/2016 20:20 - United States - Sunnyside

Today, I logged on to my Gmail account and to find that my brother had sent my math teacher a picture of Bigfoot peeing into a urinal. Using my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 457

You deserved it 1 285

By Noname - 05/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 113

You deserved it 4 133

By Anonymous - 15/06/2011 00:59 - United States

Today, my professor handed me back a paper I spent hours hours working on. At the bottom in red it said "D" followed by, "That was a gift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 736

You deserved it 7 992

By J.Smith - 15/01/2009 16:12 - France

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 921

You deserved it 2 168

By pussy - 04/05/2009 14:46 - Italy

Today, I was talking to my boss about her children. She told me she didn’t want them to develop any problems by letting them sleep with the light on. I didn’t tell her last night I slept with the light on because I’m scared of ghosts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 313

You deserved it 44 769

By milkymoo - 30/05/2011 01:45 - Cyprus

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 597

You deserved it 49 778

By Anonymous - 23/12/2016 19:12

Today, my sister gave me a early Christmas present. It's lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 501

You deserved it 494

Barfed out

By superbubbles - 23/03/2021 21:30 - Canada

Today, I threw up in bio when we dissected cow hearts. Guess that rules out my childhood passion as a possible career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 107

Hard test

By Too Late - 19/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Sheboygan

Today, I went in to take my College Placement tests. I'd spent all week ignoring actual homework to study for these tests. When I got there, the responsible told me that the tests were last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 1 985

By fuck - 02/06/2011 18:43 - United States

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 042

You deserved it 5 929

By Bliggins - 28/11/2012 03:08 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 908

You deserved it 2 942

By Michael978 - 29/04/2016 03:40

Today, I was teaching a friend to squat. While I was spotting him, he decided it would be a great idea to turn around. This wouldn't have been a problem, if he hadn't hit me in the face with the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 801

You deserved it 1 060

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Top comments

Psycocharger 19

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Friday 31 July 2015 0:59

At least she is giving you some money to repair it.

Welshite 39

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Friday 31 July 2015 0:56

She's paying the computer toll.

Welshite 39

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Friday 31 July 2015 0:56

She's paying the computer toll.

raesos91 26

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Friday 31 July 2015 13:56

At first I read that as 'computer troll'

jake131000 21

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Friday 31 July 2015 0:57

That sucks

cat4651 15

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Friday 31 July 2015 0:58

How many coins can even fit in those tiny slots?

SubparAtBest 23

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Friday 31 July 2015 1:04

Its where u put the CD. not sub or anything like that..

cat4651 15

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Friday 31 July 2015 1:06

I am well aware that the CD slot is where you put CDs.

SPN_lover666 27

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Friday 31 July 2015 1:14

#7, not shit. Pretty sure #3 already knew that.

rocker_chick23 27

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Friday 31 July 2015 1:24

#7: A CD tray is a tiny slot. #3: said nothing that says she doesn't know what a CD slot does.

Lukin 24

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Friday 31 July 2015 9:49

Only one way to find out. :)

False_Stupidity 41

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Saturday 1 August 2015 13:10

I was thinking #3 meant the card reader slots are tiny, which they are.

Psycocharger 19

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Friday 31 July 2015 0:59

At least she is giving you some money to repair it.

fringeisawesome 19

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Friday 31 July 2015 10:20

Well only for the tip

shortswimmer17 28

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Friday 31 July 2015 0:59

A great place to store important things. Good luck with her.

kingodsucksville 18

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Friday 31 July 2015 1:01

At least she paid you something

IIEllieII 9

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Friday 31 July 2015 1:05

Depending on the brand, if it is less than 2 weeks old they might repair it for free.

wet51 5

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Friday 31 July 2015 1:11

she raised networth of your laptop!

SPN_lover666 27

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Friday 31 July 2015 1:12

If it needs to be repaired, tell her that the money she was going to get for allowance is now going towards the cost of fixing it.

Feklfekl2222 32

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Friday 31 July 2015 1:14

If she's young enough to be putting coins in laptops, I imagine her pocket money is non existent or would take years to cover the cost of repairs unfortunately

SecretAgent_700 15

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Friday 31 July 2015 3:35

Do people still get an allowance? I didn't know that was still a thing.

tabbycat2007 22

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Friday 31 July 2015 4:28

#13 it's not the amount that's important, it's the consequence. It will teach her that if you play with something important and break it, you are responsible for paying to fix it. I think that's a very good idea, and teaches a valuable lesson at a young age.

Feklfekl2222 32

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Friday 31 July 2015 14:10

I didn't mean to imply it wasn't, I'm just saying that OP will still unfortunately have to foot the no doubt expensive bill

mullfritt 12

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Friday 31 July 2015 1:16

Did the same thing to my brothers computer! But I was Young and Stupid, may be around 18-19 years old haha...

whysobeachy 37

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Friday 31 July 2015 6:22

You were "Young and Stupid" enough to do that when you were 18-19? I'm 19 at present, and I think I understood better than to do that by the time I was 13.