By Anonymous - 16/10/2014 19:30 - United States - Traverse City

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 797
You deserved it 5 927

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Put the money in her wallet facing different directions. It's hilarious to watch .

for everyone saying "she has more problems than OCD" thats not even thinking about the wife. OCD is really hard, and its difficult once you notice something thats "wrong" to ignore it. if they talk about it and they both understand that A) the husband isnt doing it on purpose and B) OP realizes its OCD and she doesnt need to be upset at her husband, then everything should be okay. just takes patience and practice

Comments

PresidentNorth 16

Subtract brownie points for failing so miserably

PresidentNorth 16

I don't see you're witty pun..

Your. Sorry, had to, thats my OCD kicking in.

shelbycobra0991 8

Has she gone to counseling or sought any kind of help for her OCD? I was diagnosed with it two years ago, and though it majorly sucks and consumes a huge part of your life, you can't allow it to ruin your relationships with friends and family. Cognitive behavior therapy helped me a lot. Sometimes it takes a professional to make you realize how truly meaningless things like rolling the toilet the "wrong" way are in the bigger picture, though it might seem like the end of the world to someone with OCD. Best of luck to you, OP :)

I'm really pleased you've found something that works for you. Sad fact though, 20-40% of OCD sufferers make no improvement despite trying all forms of medical intervention, so it isn't always as easy as saying "Just go see a doctor/counselor".

It's always worth trying, sometimes it's about learning how to cope better rather that finding a cure, a friend of mine managed to reduce her anxiety connected to having OCD even though her symptoms didn't reduce.

absolutescrew 9

Oh my god you should be beaten within an inch of your life how dare you do that. I cannot believe this woman is still married to you. You are a Neanderthal.

You sound like a very patient man, OP. It's a good trait to have. That said, you don't have to put up with your wife's emotional and verbal abuse, and you need to put a stop to it as soon as possible - the longer you tolerate her bad behavior, the worse it will get. You need to tell her, in a very calm, but very firm tone, that you do not like being shouted at, that she will cease abusing you immediately and never do it again, and that she will get counseling and (if needed) medication for her psychiatric problems. Then find a good psychiatrist or psychologist, and make sure she goes to the appointments. Best of luck.

I understand what you are saying and agree that Op should tell her that being yelled at over something like this is inappropriate. But in my opinion I wouldn't call this abuse. This seems more like an argument to me. Abuse, to me, is reserved for things a little more serious than this. If this happens every day then the term can come into place maybe, but I wouldn't call it abuse for a one time thing (that we know of). I only bring this up because I just think that word gets thrown around a bit too much and it seems like any boyfriend or girlfriend that doesn't like their ex seems to label them as "abusive."

I wouldn't characterize an interaction in which one party does all the yelling and the other party does all the apologising as an argument. That's a harangue. The gratuitous insults and overblown accusations are what make it abusive. An argument would be both sides presenting their reasons why the toilet paper should be one way or the other. On the one hand, the word "abuse" does get thrown around too much, partially because very few people will bother to dispute a woman's claims of having been abused by her husband, which makes it a "get out of relationship free" card for her, and gains her a lot of automatic sympathy. On the other hand, if she had OCD and he knows about it, then this is probably not the first time she's lashed out at him. I guarantee you that if a woman posted that her husband had yelled at her for being an insensitive bitch and not considering his needs, and she'd ended up apologising because he couldn't handle the toilet paper being the wrong way around, 90% of the people here would have said "Call the police and get out now before he starts beating you!" Whatever the case, for the sake of both OP and his wife, her behavior needs to stop immediately.

alliewillie 22

I'm thinking it's more than just OCD. That sounded a lot like the little innocent thing that just becomes the "last straw".

Can you have different degrees of OCD? I always feel compelled to reverse the roll to run over whenever my wife puts it on the wrong way (which is always), but I certainly don't take it as far as a shouting match or abuse.

There are different degrees and its also how soon a person gets diagnosed and get the right kind of help plays a big factor as to how bad it gets. I was friends with someone who has OCD and depression in middle school to high school. She was on meds but she was still a wreck i stayed friends with her for two years before i had enough of her bit picking my personality. I feel like was a shitty friend that i gave up on her. Saw her again recently we are now juniors in college and she apologized for the shit she put me through. Now we are making plans to have dinner together sometime soon.

There are levels, but it's also worth remembering most people have little obsessive traits. Whether with neatness, or volume on the TV being even numbers (very common), something having to be organised in a set way. It's only a disorder if it negatively effects your life, the term is overused and used incorrectly a lot. Hoarding is one manifestation of it too, so not everyone with it is also obsessed with cleaning and such either.

PresidentNorth 16

And you are what people call a "douchebag."

diving_fml 30

happy wife, happy life. just change it