Today, my wife, who knows I'm attracted to women with long hair just like 95% of men, instead of growing her hair long, said she is going to stop being friends with any women who have long hair because she doesn't want me to be attracted to them. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML
Today, my wife is angry with me because after she'd convinced me to grow out my hair, it exposed my receding hairline. I shaved my head to the same appearance as when she married me, so I could feel more comfortable with my own body. FML
Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life." She has had the same mullet haircut since '84. FML
Today, my new girlfriend canceled my badly needed haircut appointment. She feels that having my female hairstylist wash and cut my hair involves "too much touching" and "counts as cheating." FML
Today, I decided to go get my hair cut because it was getting a bit long. I told the lady that I wanted it way short and she replied "Why? You will look like a guy sweetie." I am a guy. FML
Today, my wife demanded that I cut all ties with my best friend, just because she doesn't like the jokes he tells. Now she's bitching that she's upset because his wife, who she works with, is talking about her. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not." FML
Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML
Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML
Today, my friend isn't speaking to me since I came out to her. Not because she's a homophobe, but because she's mortally offended that I didn't confess my love in the process. Seems that everyone who's attracted to women should be attracted to her. FML
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Top comments
PhoenixChick 26
Since you are shallow and selfish enough to take it for granted that your wife would change her appearance to meet your tastes, I think she was right to expect you are selfish and shallow enough to be tempted by long-haired women she might be around.
LadyRen 20
Did you know 95% of sats are made up?
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Comments (14)
ojosRojos 28
It’s not your wife’s job to tailor her appearance to your liking. It’s also not her job to tailor her friend selection, because she should be able to trust that you’d be loyal regardless of what other women look like. It’s time for you to take a look in the internal mirror and make some changes to your personality.
zuckerburg 21
just because i prefer men with big dicks doesn't mean I expect the man I'm with to grow a larger penis or block any knee-slappers that might want to tap my ass. tell your wife to grow the **** up... WHILE YOU DO TOO
sarahcroy20 12
She sounds nuts. That's ridiculous.