By dwood08 - 07/11/2014 01:55 - United States - New York

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 960
You deserved it 15 866

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Hmmm sex or a new puppy is equally as satisfying in my opinion.

Who complains about getting a puppy?

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Hmmm sex or a new puppy is equally as satisfying in my opinion.

Say "Thanks for the puppy, let's celebrate by doing it doggie style!"

But hey, it was actually a surprise, wasn't it?

@12, they will probably be up all night to 'Bark at The Moon' (Ozzy Osborne)

not when you're allergic as I am!!

I don't know. I just got a puppy in the last year and if I came home to a puppy I would be kind like... What the hell did you just do?? Lol I don't think I could do the puppy thing so soon. Though I love my Oakley! Let's just do it instead of get a puppy.

Allergic to puppies or to sex?

"Happy wife, happy life"! Maybe she's willing to put up more often from now on?

I would rather find the puppy, it makes you happy everyday amd not just happy for a couple hours :)

@92, since both sex with someone you are married too, and getting a puppy are free* I'd rather surprise sex. If I got a puppy, I want some say into picking it. *Some terms and conditions apply. Consent should be used for both. Pets should be acquired at local shelter.

I would love it if I had a say in the type of dog, and where it came from. Little ankle biting yip dogs are irritating, I like bigger dogs and medium ones are okay too. And I'd like it to come from the shelter, and be a mix breed. Pure breed often times have health issues. And, I'd like it to be older, or get two dogs (one puppy and one older). Older dogs are often times less desirable by families. I'd want to give that dog affection and a permanent home that it should have. Those are my lenient personal preferences.

Sex is never free bro.

Look on the bright side, puppies are adorable! Maybe you could "thank" her by giving her something too. A dinner date to set the mood?

Honestly this guy has a twisted outlook on life if he thinks sex is better than puppies.

what? sex is definitely better. Puppies you have to feed, take out, and spend lots of money on......wait....damn.

I'd rather get the sex than a puppy, just my opinion.

69 - thats the joke

Puppies ftw! How can someone be disappointed by a puppy?

But it's a new puppy! Who doesn't love a puppy????

Some people just like pussy more. We can't all be dog people.

I know right?! I'd be fucking stoked if I came home to a puppy.

#13 that is a terrible try at a pun

@17 - Maybe try commenting with some substance before you critique; go ahead, I'll wait for your amazing word play to floor me.

Hey I thought it was good. I giggled a little...

I'm scared of dogs, so I wouldn't be happy getting a new puppy. Maybe a kitten, but getting a pet is still a big decision and requires discussion.

Who complains about getting a puppy?

People allergic to puppies...

Depends on the puppy. I would hate coming home to a little ankle biter who doesn't get bigger then a cat. But that's just personal preference.

The one who had to take care of it.

@4: Agreed. I would normally say OP deserves it for not appreciating his wife's thoughtfulness, but with that attitude he doesn't deserve the small fluffy ball of unconditional love that is a puppy.

The horndog who wrote this

Learn to associate 'surprise' with something other than sex, I would be thrilled if I was surprised with a puppy.

Ikr? Surprise just means something you don't expect.

@106 Paints a pretty miserable picture for future marriage prospects doesn't it?

I wasn't expecting it hence why I hoped it was sex.

#129 yeah we understand but just because a woman says there's a surprise waiting for you, doesn't mean it's automatically sex!

At least you got a puppy. I wish I could come home and be surprised with a new puppy.

cuz 2 dogs is never enough?

I've always wanted a dog, but my sister is scared so we are not allowed! I wish that I could've surprised like that! Why the fuck is this even and FML? It should an LML (love my life)

A new puppy is almost exactly as fantastic as sex, although hopefully not for the same reasons.

You're a cat person? Puppy's are really cute but it is something you should discuss before getting one.

Dude puppies are adorable take it and be happy.. You can have sex any time later your wife isn't going anywhere

I'd be so excited for a new puppy! Mans best friend