Intimacy: Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night...

By Barrel - 05/02/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 830

You deserved it 9 053

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Permission granted and rejected

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 04:00

Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 145

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 11/07/2025 20:00 - Netherlands - Creil

Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 138

Busted

By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 23:41 - France

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 944

You deserved it 2 856

Classico

By Anonymous - 28/08/2025 20:00 - France - Nogent-sur-Marne

Today, it's been 3 years since my wife told me we should take a break from sex. We haven't touched each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 131

By an unlucky man - 05/08/2016 09:37 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 059

You deserved it 3 114

By Anonymous - 15/05/2019 01:00

Today, my wife served me with divorce papers that included an accusation that I haven’t given her a decent orgasm since 1996. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 649

You deserved it 791

Last trip

By cap - 09/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 312

You deserved it 334

Definitely maybe

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 00:00

Today, my marriage is more or less over, as my wife is so career-obsessed that when I asked if we could spend some time together, she rolled her eyes and gave me permission to sleep with other women, since sex is all I think about. I didn’t ask for sex, just time together. Definitely over I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 975

You deserved it 197

Marriage doesn't solve anything

By Anonymous - 12/03/2021 17:00

Today, my wife told me how she really felt about me, and said she didn't love me anymore. We got married last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 285

You deserved it 143

By TheLoneSoul - 13/09/2015 14:22 - France

Today, I received a call from my wife. It would've been great if she hadn't left on a business trip three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 173

You deserved it 1 618

pezzlo 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 0:45

Sorry, Rob. Alex

Dr_Phil 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 13:11

No sex in two years ... and you're still married, why?

Comments

FatherofTime87 18

Monday 30 June 2014 9:53

On the bright side you have all the evidence you need for your divorce

agentlilye 10

Friday 8 August 2014 0:45

Well u havnt had sex in two years...

BiNeko 12

Saturday 13 December 2014 2:53

Sorry bro

CarlosDanger 12

Thursday 18 December 2014 17:03

You haven't had sex in two years and you are surprised? You are not that bright.

Solano2580 24

Saturday 16 May 2015 21:05

You have the perfect evidence now all you need is the perfect lawyer and you can demolish her in the divorce case

beautifulmymy_fml 23

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:49

Damn

barksdalescott 11

Tuesday 10 November 2015 9:05

When you were writing this did you forget that phones have greetings, and there's no way anyone in that situation could've passed over hearing either your name/personal greeting or at the very least your phone number?