FML for mobile
Free

Open in app
FMyLife
chillnhill Shippensburg, United States

Today, my wife is unreasonably mad at me for telling our kids to call toilet paper, "Butt Floss". FML

110

chillnhill tells us more.

chillnhill 24

OP here, many thanks to those that saw the humor in this! For those that think "YDI", you should know that this happened a VERY long time ago and my kids have all grown up to be successful adults with rich fulfilling lives...

Collection

Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Top comments

james98e 15

There will be no butts in this arguement

MrsPegg 45

Still better than "Ass Wipe".

Add a comment · Reply to

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Sign in Create my account

Comments (110)

djm2010 8

Not sure why there are more YDIs on this one. I guess if OP were grmale, it'd be the other way around

theshopmouse 14

i though thats what we called thongs

drrobotnik1 18

your wife's a bitch. you're hilarious. keep your dad jokes up, OP, they'll be over before you know it

gavthewarealpaca 21

Very funny but save it for later

smoothies14 32

Acceptable, if it gets them to use the stuff.

KittyCharming 2

Thongs or g-strings I think are more considered butt floss...

mercedesm 28

My mom refers to thongs as "butt floss"..

NH_Freelancer 19

Toilet paper is known as "Enterprise", because it circles "Ur-anus" and wipes out "Cling-ons." Universally, a girls thong panties and/or string bikini bottoms are known as "butt floss".

Taolan 23

if you think about the purpose of floss though, toilet paper makes more sense as 'butt floss'. string thong-backed panties are called buttfloss for reasons of imagery alone.

dipsofomnia 8

Not suitable for teaching the kids but on the other hand, amazing name dude ... totally going to use that (:

LiGhTMaGiCk 18

I will stand with you brother, from now on I will refer to toilet paper as butt floss.