By Anonymous - 14/4/2020 05:00

Stir crazy, part 16

Today, my wife was so sick of being isolated with the kids while I, a key worker, got to "escape" to work everyday, that she locked herself in our room and got completely trashed on my cider, meaning I had to stay at home with the kids instead of helping my elderly patients. FML
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By  Beackers675  |  11

How about instead of complaining, you get some perspective. I work in mental health and even though I'm still working, I have patients that are now doing online therapy, and you should see what constant exposure to ONLY your family and no one else will do. It will make you go crazy. I get you have elderly patients, but your wife's well-being and sanity is just as important. Also, way to make being a parent sound like such a burden to you. imagine how she must feel.

By  sarsuela  |  22

Of course it would be better if kids would behave and being isolated with them would be all fun and games but reality is that this situation takes a toll on everyone and if she needs a break you need to help her. " In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health."

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By  sarsuela  |  22

Of course it would be better if kids would behave and being isolated with them would be all fun and games but reality is that this situation takes a toll on everyone and if she needs a break you need to help her. " In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health."

By  Beackers675  |  11

How about instead of complaining, you get some perspective. I work in mental health and even though I'm still working, I have patients that are now doing online therapy, and you should see what constant exposure to ONLY your family and no one else will do. It will make you go crazy. I get you have elderly patients, but your wife's well-being and sanity is just as important. Also, way to make being a parent sound like such a burden to you. imagine how she must feel.

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  chyiochan  |  30

Yep, OP, I understand you work and come home, and unsure if you have to care for your parents daily/on-off or if they're IN your home!

You and your wife need to sit down and talk, and perhaps give each other a break with child duties. Kids, especially younger kids, do not let up all day. The stay-at-home parent is the kids absolute norm and someday's they just walk all over you. There is no adult interaction during this stay at home order, there's no parks/daycare/grandparents/school/friends.

The kids schedule and life is out of whack as much as it is for your wife. You are BOTH working all day.

Again on the age of kids: me personally, I'm up 1-2 hours before my husband because of kids. He's asleep while I write this. He starts work in an hour. But he helps when he's 'Done' his job for 30m to an hour or so, and also puts them to bed a majority of the time.

There's no off time for me, no 15 minute breaks or an hour lunch, no quiet time. So when he helps and takes over, I can sit for a bit, catch up on chores because I'm also now homeschooling, and it allows us to both END our day at the same time, together!

Obviously this entire covid situation is a completely different issue, but just WORK with her. Explain your difficulties, listen to hers, pick days you can give each-other some time off. This is a very difficult time to fix things but it can be done!

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I think we need to acknowledge that OPs wife is behaving in a really immature way. Yes, she is clearly not coping well with isolation. Yes, she clearly needs some help.
But OP is an essential worker, as stated in the original post. Locking herself in her room and getting drunk, thereby forcing OP to stay home (away from his essential work) sounds like the equivalent of a tantrum. She seemed to want him to be "forced" into the same situation as her. To take away his "escape". This sort of manipulative behaviour is completely unacceptable.

But again, she is clearly struggling. I also work in mental health, and these sorts of times really facilitate these struggles OPs wife is having. Nowhere to turn to. No way to escape. No real help.

Either way, she handled it very poorly, selfishly, and immaturely.

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  chyiochan  |  30

Oh, well YES she's behaving very immaturely, of course! But sometimes people fuck up and make bad decisions. Sometimes we have a lapse in judgement and do stupid things. There's obviously issues, but they need to work it out as she's really struggling!

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  aryania  |  7

nice inconsiderate novel. he is going to work where needed most in these times. as an essential worker my self. it is not escaping to work. there is just as much stress if not sometimes more stress on essential workers than those at home. seems to me that online help is what the spouse at home needs. not mouthing off uselessly without a solution.

By  Taylor Caldwell  |  10

Why did either of you bother having kids?

By  bl3ur0z3  |  17

In fairness, if you were stuck in the house, never getting to see anything or anyone different with children who are bored and for whom you are running out of ideas and patience, you would go insane too. Seriously, take a week off and try it.

By  mekiswrite  |  19

Your wife shouldn't have been so irresponsible, but you are just as responsible for the kids as she is. It takes two to tango, and it took the two of you to create those kids. It really does sound as though your work is more important to you than your family and their mental wellbeing.

By  Jillian Cosby-Kelly  |  13

So your wife needed a much deserved break and you're complaining about having to be a dad? real nice.
I feel for the poor woman. I also locked myself away from my fiance and kid yesterday, and guess what? my fiance was totally fine with it because since I got my time, I'm now more sane, and he can have time to himself now without worrying about me as much.
that's called LOVE

By  crazymomma22  |  8

to everyone ragging on him, I myself have no choice but to work during this pandemic my man is stuck at home and has done this a once and had a total mental breakdown for 3 days. I could not take time off from work to be by his side but as soon as I got home and showered I was by his side and helping him through it. just because we cant be there throughout the our working hours doesn't mean we arent there for our spouse and family after work. think before you talk.