crankawank

Today, the first gift I opened was from my uncle. It was $80 in clothes that I'd bought for myself a week earlier. FML

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML