Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had the pleasure of having a kidney stones removal procedure where they hammer your kidneys to break up the stones. Afterwards, the doctor called my wife over the intercom to come to back to the waiting room. She freaks out, runs back, and the doctor says, “I just wanted to show this stone. Cool huh?" FML
Today, I passed my kidney stone. After thirteen hours of pain free joy, another one appeared. FML
Today, after I'd given myself a week off work for my birthday, and my alcoholic sister decided she needed to go to rehab, which then hijacked the whole week for her crisis, at 4:30 am, the morning I'm supposed to return to work, I end up in the ER with a first time kidney stone. The next thing I know, she's in the ER for an injury. FML
Today, my girlfriend's "sheltered" 15-year-old niece is sharing our tiny home. Shortly after she arrived, I started to pass a kidney stone. I've had 3 hours of vomiting and cold-sweating while pissing acidic blood and a stone in absolute agony. The niece is "traumatized". FML
Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML
Today, my doctor confirmed that the extreme pain I've been experiencing is due to a kidney stone. My friend decided this was the time to tell me that passing a kidney stone is the male equivalent of child birth. Hello even more pain. FML
Today, I ended up in the hospital for the fourth time since beginning of January due to kidney stones. FML
Today, I was passing a kidney stone. I had to go to the ER but had no one to take me, so I drove myself. They made me wait 3 hours because it was suspicious that someone in "so much pain" could drive. It was the largest stone that doctor had seen in his career. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, I went to the hospital for wrenching pains in my abdomen. It turns out I have the largest "non removable" kidney stone my doctor has ever seen. It's the size of a fucking walnut. I have to pass the thing. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You probably shouldn't have laced her Vicodin with LSD.
hippiechick96 3
what kind of pills did you give her? xD
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Comments (109)
snizzlesnuzzle 0
a. poor thing b. hilarious c. what'd you give her...?
Doortje 30
I'll take a dozen of those pills. Or maybe thirteen.
stronghand0331 17
You disgust me. I said TWELVE not a dozen, you babbling fool!
ilovepandaz 2
hahahahhaahahahhahahahahhhahahhahahhahahahhahahhahahahahahahhaaahhahahha
Na8 0
what are the pills called
HomeAl0ne 20
You must really love that couch for this to count as a FML. Otherwise it's good entertainment and provides an excellent after dinner story for years to come.
Redsox68 0
why didn't you use that to your advantage? I mean her pants are down, you're a guy and you didn't do anything?
asherz892 5
Um isn't "for better or for worse" in your marriage vows? Your meant to take care of her. If I were your wife id be pissed that you posted this, I'm sure if she could've controlled it she would've.
apoop 0
kidney stones hurt like hell, **** her life
InUtero 0
Your wife is drugged up and "tried" to pee on your couch. You need to grow pair if this seriously bothers you.
gallir24 6
FHL, not yours.