By Anonymous - 27/10/2013 16:08 - United States - Ballwin

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 063
You deserved it 5 493

Same thing different taste

Top comments

thatonegirlnic 10

If you did this to her, you are bound for the aftermath


Hormones or not, rude is rude. :-( Try to be patient though.

fucMyLifeSoHard 18

22- When you are pregnant and have a human growing inside you, and have tons of different emotions, you don't think about being patient or nice to people.

Yes #80, a woman is a ***** because she is pregnant with her husbands kid.

Love these types of FML's where no matter what a pregnant woman does, everyone just says hormones. "Today, my pregnant wife murdered our neighbors" FML community - "Uhhhh... hormones!!!"

"Hormones... " Okay, I know she's complaining a lot, and for completely ridiculous things, but there's no reason to call her a *****.

hang in there OP! I am dealing with morning sickness myself! Make sure she gets a full 7-8 hours (really helps) and right before bed, Greek yogurt! Its full of protein, it really helps coming morning. Also if she pukes it up, it comes up really easy, so I keep regular cheap yogurt for just when I feel icky. Feed her as soon as she gets out of bed, but have her spend a few mins laying in bed first, even if she has to return to it after her 1st am pee. In that time, try making her malt-o-meal, its easy on the tummy. I am at 11 weeks, so I am almost out of the woods! She will be too very soon. Good Luck OP!!

thatonegirlnic 10

If you did this to her, you are bound for the aftermath

Bananas are healthy and nutritious. Why should he have not offered it to her? Is it his fault it happens to resemble genetalia? Or is it his fault he was born a man and that men do not get pregnant?

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Clearly you have never been around a pregnant woman before.

\ 28

Three things you don't ever mess with: Pregnant women, pregnant women, and Booda_Shun.

#84: So you're calling yourself a pregnant woman. Everything makes a little more sense now.

Cadillac4427 8

Doc Bastard ....never a dull momentO:-)

I am sure that is a quick way to get your pregnant wife to go Amy Fischer on you. I am thinking of the correct celebrity...right?

KayleeFrye 39

No, Amy Fisher is the teen who shot her older lover's wife. Could you be thinking of Lorena Bobbit, who cut off her husband's penis?

\ 28

I will admit, that joke failed. Backfired. *sob*

yes! That is who I was thinking of. awh well, a fail on my part, I guess I should have used google haha.

evan_7899 28

#11: You can have sex during a pregnancy.

Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you don't have sex..

My ex and I had our best sex when she was pregnant.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Shhh! Don't tell 11 that! Let them suffer when they are or their mate is pregnant. It'd be so much more fun that way..

Adree 15

You really thought you couldn't have sex while pregnant?

Are you implying you can't have sex when pregnant or did I misunderstand ?

perdix 29

No, you can't have sex when you're pregnant -- the baby could be born pregnant!

47- the baby is actually pretty firm in there. hes not as fragile as some would think

66- this could lead to complications such as infinite loop.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

You actually believed you couldn't have sex when you're pregnant, yet I'm the dumb one? Haha man, that's logic at its finest.

Why did I get so many negative thumbs ahahah

Rainhawk94 27

I bet #78's life depends on the number.of likes she gets

In #11s defense a lot of people are mislead to believe it's not safe to have sex during pregnancy. I used to think the same thing until I looked it up. Some people, especially first time parents if they're not too informed will become scared of harming the baby. It just takes simple research or asking a doctor. :P

when I was pregnant I enjoyed sex hell my Dr recommend that my husband and I have sex as long as we were not to rough and stop immediately if there was pain other then that it would help with some aches (ie hip ligaments since it was my first child and they were stretching) orgasms help prepare the uterus (strengthen the uterine muscles) for labor. Sex was my favorite exercise.

More and more idiots are joining FML lately. Just seep through the comments and see for yourself. I used to enjoy reading the comments, now all I get is face palms and confusion.

78 - No? I was just asking why people are so negative nowadays. Now just watch how many negatives this will get me.

monnanon 13

how big do you think your dick is if you think it will harm your baby. i can understand people being squemish or pregnancy sex, i found it really weird thinking that there was a baby in my belly and had this odd phobia that it would know what we were up to in a vouyeristic sense (i know its odd) but to think you can physically harm the baby? sounds like a backhanded way or giving yourself a compliment if you ask me.

Such an unusual sight - dumbass being argued by an utter idiot :) You see, world isn't black'n'white, I guess...

BubbleGrunge 18

I'm sorry OP, but the best advice that anyone could give you is to be gentle with her and her fluctuating mood swings. "**** you hormones, not Allison,hormones."

7 more months to go I'm guessing? But you'll make it through ^_^

evan_7899 28

Did she peel the top only and then lick it seductively?

She doesn't need to be such a dick about it.

it's called hormones and you can't control it I bit off my husband's head for some things that normally I wouldn't have done so before I was pregnant. You just cannot help it

#129 Its depressing at how you took that so literally. :(