Miscellaneous: Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog.... - FML

04/08/2011 16:05 - United States

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 503

You deserved it 53 123

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Late term

Vandals

Chili beans

By "Caroline Ballard Turner" - 22/12/2019 14:00

Today, I woke up to find that there has been a water main break in my neighborhood and there is no running water until the break is located and fixed. I had chili with beans late last night and it is wreaking havoc with my lower gastrointestinal track, and the toilet won't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 006

You deserved it 214

11/05/2011 17:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 481

You deserved it 17 207

12/08/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 698

You deserved it 3 971

20/11/2011 07:37

Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 257

You deserved it 4 102

10/07/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. In fact I just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 276

You deserved it 62 378

The jury's out on this one

By Anonymous - 19/11/2020 11:03 - United States - Fairfax

Today, I start my second week of jury duty. I was only supposed to do one week of jury duty and then go on a week of a pre-paid vacation. Instead, I’m required to go back to court this week, I’m spending my evenings doing my regular job, and I lost nearly $1,000 that I pre-paid for lodging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 118

16/03/2015 04:10 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 676

You deserved it 2 569

11/02/2019 14:00 - United States - Cromwell

Today, after talking to my psychiatrist about a delusion I have - that I know is a delusion but simply can’t shake - he started frowning and pulled out the DSM-V. After thumbing through it for a while he looks at me and says, “That’s not in here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 111

You deserved it 170

13/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 940

You deserved it 4 752

02/08/2011 07:55 - United States

Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 258

You deserved it 9 659

27/07/2016 02:27 - United States - Parrish

Today, I found out why my husband doesn't want me to go to the doc. It's not because of the reasonable copay. It's because he has let 3 other women use my insurance to give birth, in the last 4 years. They are all his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 982

You deserved it 1 110

14/11/2009 00:09 - Canada

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 193

You deserved it 6 085

30/05/2012 18:47 - United Kingdom - Barry

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 837

You deserved it 3 001

21/01/2012 00:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 626

You deserved it 9 285

31/01/2010 01:35 - United States

Today, I was stuck sitting at a cafeteria table next to the girl who broke my heart and her boyfriend. I got to overhear the conversation, which included "I want to go to the car" followed by "Me too, but I don't have a condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 738

You deserved it 3 352

19/01/2015 23:58

Today, while on my driving test, the guy told me to pull over and do a U-turn. A few minutes later, he asked me to do another one. After the test, he said I'd failed because the second U-turn was illegal, and I should have refused to comply. I didn't know they're even allowed do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 008

You deserved it 5 507

Sorry Mr Nibbles

By JustMyLuck - 06/09/2009 01:31 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. Out of natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 949

You deserved it 52 089

20/05/2011 19:46 - France

Spicy

Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 281

You deserved it 14 302

21/04/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 222

You deserved it 130 486

29/07/2016 00:26

Today, I was sitting outside while my dad was mowing the lawn. He ran over a hornet's nest with several now-angry hornets. He escaped unscathed. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 734

You deserved it 1 466

08/02/2013 15:36 - United States

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 232

You deserved it 2 645

01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 751

You deserved it 4 407

Kitten time

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 00:30

Today, I came home from putting my 18 year-old cat to sleep to find 3 months worth of prescription food, medication and cat litter on my porch. It isn't returnable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 94

17/06/2013 05:42 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 413

You deserved it 5 406

20/01/2015 13:23 - United States - Des Moines

Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 160

You deserved it 2 680

15/09/2009 09:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 661

You deserved it 2 405

03/03/2009 16:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 886

You deserved it 6 677

What could go wrong?

By Rebecca - 03/10/2020 23:07

Today, I slipped into an ATM vestibule quickly without a mask. The place smelled like the antiseptic at a doctor's office, so I figured, "What could go wrong?" Not more than 6 hours later, I found out that I’m sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 1 802

01/07/2015 23:38 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 675

You deserved it 1 720

Road rage

By Justwantedathankyou - 18/08/2017 06:00 - United States - Loudon

Today, I noticed that an SUV forgot to put their gas cap back on, so I tried honking and flashing my lights to get their attention. They slammed on their brakes, causing me to rear-end them. So much for good karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 511

You deserved it 1 288

01/09/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 908

You deserved it 8 758

17/03/2009 17:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 988

You deserved it 23 010

26/02/2012 13:53 - United States

Today, I gave my little brother my iPhone so he could play a game. I soon forgot about it, and when I got it back two hours later, there was pudding and a couple of big cracks in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 059

You deserved it 30 796

05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 710

You deserved it 13 773

30/10/2010 23:46 - Canada

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 243

You deserved it 6 026

19/12/2014 19:24 - United States

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 494

You deserved it 3 893

19/11/2011 07:47 - New Zealand

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 158

You deserved it 7 086

01/01/2016 16:23 - United States - Dublin

Today, my father told me he hasn't brushed his teeth for 30 years: he just wipes them with paper towels. I don't know whether to be horribly disgusted, or horribly jealous that he has never gotten a cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 200

You deserved it 1 530

13/09/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 8 months dumped me over the phone in between telling the Subway employees what he wanted on his sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 030

You deserved it 3 460

Classic mistake

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 13:59

Today, I was getting ready for work and I sprayed my hair to stay in place, then went to spray deodorant under my arm, but noticed that it was super sticky. No wonder my hair spray smelled like baby powder, I'd confused one product with another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 589

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Top comments

TaylorTotsYumm 10

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Thursday 4 August 2011 23:35

Why would you wear something so precious while mud wrestling? D:

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

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Thursday 4 August 2011 23:33

Dude, gettin dirty always ends in guilt ;)

Comments

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

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Thursday 4 August 2011 23:33

Dude, gettin dirty always ends in guilt ;)

flockz 19

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Thursday 4 August 2011 23:40

this FML is dirtier than my google history. wait no it isnt. ;]

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Friday 5 August 2011 0:25

I love mud wrestling. It's always so much fun and satisfying. I also love to play in the rain and jump in puddles. Yes, I am 24. Fun is fun. :)

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Friday 5 August 2011 0:45

Why do wear that to mud wrestling. You deserved it

flockz 19

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Friday 5 August 2011 0:52

24 year olds mud wrestling isnt as dirty as fingering your sister and finding DocBastard's wedding ring, and seeing that it's inscribed "But my one and only love will always be every1luvsboners" I'll take that one way ticket to hell now.

nowthenagain10 8

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Friday 5 August 2011 1:36

31 yea i think youve deserved that ticket.

imthatguythatdid 0

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Friday 5 August 2011 3:56

And ur wearing ur moms ring, WHY?? OP?

koe4 0

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Friday 5 August 2011 4:30

op's boyfriend decides he wants to marry op, asks ops parents for permisson, ops mom gives ops boyfriend her ring to give to op... see where im going?

Brool_Story_Co 17

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Friday 5 August 2011 6:08

No

Ugi 26

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Friday 5 August 2011 9:48

I read this in moderation before the ring value was edited out and it's a killer! OP, I feel for you but you really did deserve it wearing a ring of that value to go mud-wrestling!

CookieMonstr19 0

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Friday 5 August 2011 10:04

Why were you wearing ur moms ring in the first place?!??

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Thursday 4 August 2011 23:35

I feel so bad for you rite now that real sucks

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Friday 5 August 2011 6:35

Cool! I found a ring at this mud bog today. I love my life

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Friday 5 August 2011 8:22

is that really how you spell write

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Friday 5 August 2011 9:04

No, it's how he spells right

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Friday 5 August 2011 9:29

That's a he? You guys need to creep on profiles more then.

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Thursday 4 August 2011 23:35

that really sucks but u should have taken it off before

TaylorTotsYumm 10

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Thursday 4 August 2011 23:35

Why would you wear something so precious while mud wrestling? D:

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Friday 5 August 2011 0:56

mabe she forgot :o

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Friday 5 August 2011 1:01

Maybe it wasn't that important then.

Ldesu 0

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Friday 5 August 2011 8:49

"If you liked it then you should have put-" it somewhere safe while you were mud wrestling.

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Thursday 4 August 2011 23:37

And you didn't think of taking it off BEFORE you went mud wrestling?..

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Friday 5 August 2011 5:54

im thinking no...

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Thursday 4 August 2011 23:37

That's what happens when you bring valuables to MUD WRESTLING!

unluckiestperson_fml 14

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Thursday 4 August 2011 23:39

Gettin' dirty is worth it

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Thursday 4 August 2011 23:39

awww that sux I'm not gonna say ydi but I guess u learned a lesson

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Thursday 4 August 2011 23:39

You better start digging!

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Thursday 4 August 2011 23:39

This past Christmas morning I got a ring as a gift from my mom. Christmas afternoon it was gone. I feel your pain :/

1000waystofml 0

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Thursday 4 August 2011 23:48

Aha thats shitty

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Friday 30 December 2011 16:54

Same i was wearing a ring i got for christmas and i fell asleep with it on and i woke up and it was gone still is gone

emirie 21

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Wednesday 6 November 2013 20:44

My parents bought me a very nice, expensive ring for my 16th birthday. Only a few days after that, I asked my cheerleading coach to hold it for me during a game. She "lost" it.

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 55

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 143