Today, my son shaved his eyebrows. Two days ago, I caught my 10-year-old daughter watching porn. I'm totally winning at parenting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML
Today, I playfully drew thick eyebrows on my one-year-old son to make him look like a cartoon villain. He laughed cutely in the mirror as I took some adorable pictures. When my husband saw, he threw such a horrendous fit about boys and makeup, I was reduced to tears. FML
Today, I secretly turned off the internet to see what my kids would do. Barely 10 minutes later, I caught my oldest son masturbating to a photo of my sister in a bikini because, as he put it, "A man has needs and the internet's fucked." FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son discovered that he really likes masturbating. So much in fact, that he took pictures of it with my phone. FML
Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML
Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML
Today, my son walked in on me masturbating. Now, whenever I don't do whatever he wants, he blackmails me. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Now your daughter is going to tell your son what else needs to be shaved.
xx000o 27
Just wait till next week.
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Comments (35)
goozeo 11
That's the best comment haha
moondoglou420 17
It could be worse, at least they aren't taking duckface selfies.
mezochan 29
What's the point in waiting if she's already discovered ****? I'd be giving her that talk now.
nate8817482 6
**** is gonna be watched no matter what
sallyisadoggy 0
Don't be upset, the younger one just got creative with his hair, as for the 10yr old, it just sounds like puberty. Some kids can go through it as early as 9. There's no instruction manual for kids. You're s great parent because youre not giving up on them.
katluvr 22
<p>As a mother of five I know that children begin experiencing huge hormonal changes around nine years, so don't delay the "sex talk." You should also inquire as to why she's curious already. Is someone at school pressuring her? Does she have "friends" on the internet that might be suggesting inappropriate things to her? This is a situation that requires gentle but immediate attention.</p>
MiaTheMartian 21
<p>Keep razors away from your son and have the birds & bees talk with your daughter. </p>
sarahjane666 0
It happens.
nevereyes 31
Shaved off and drawn eyebrows look far better than natural ones really. So no problem there **** at 10 is a bit young though
KrazyKatz3 26
Your son has made his bed and will have to lie in it. I don't think he'll be doing that kind of thing again. Be careful about your daughter. Punishing her could lead to a troubled relationship with sex. Just talk to her about everything safe sex and **** being exagerated and how those kind of things should be kept private.