Today, my son shaved his eyebrows. Two days ago, I caught my 10-year-old daughter watching porn. I'm totally winning at parenting. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML
Today, I playfully drew thick eyebrows on my one-year-old son to make him look like a cartoon villain. He laughed cutely in the mirror as I took some adorable pictures. When my husband saw, he threw such a horrendous fit about boys and makeup, I was reduced to tears. FML
Today, I secretly turned off the internet to see what my kids would do. Barely 10 minutes later, I caught my oldest son masturbating to a photo of my sister in a bikini because, as he put it, "A man has needs and the internet's fucked." FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son discovered that he really likes masturbating. So much in fact, that he took pictures of it with my phone. FML
Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML
Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML
Today, my son walked in on me masturbating. Now, whenever I don't do whatever he wants, he blackmails me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Now your daughter is going to tell your son what else needs to be shaved.
xx000o 27
Just wait till next week.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (35)
tigerisabelle 31
<p>OP - I'm a girl, and the first time I watched **** was also 10 years old. I hated it and also didn't understand it. It could easily be curiousity, I wouldn't worry too much, kids are going to push the boundaries and although I agree you definitely should set some, there will be exploration within them. </p> <p> </p> <p>Your son sounds like the run of the mill dumbass teen. </p> <p> </p> <p>You're not a bad parent, you're experiencing what all parents of pre teens and t
anormalperson 25
Not long until she starts using the dog filter in every single photo
ZoroMiHawk 25
<p>Nothing wrong with your daughter watching **** IMO. She's growing up and it's natural. Just make sure you as a parent educate her about all the important things to know about sex</p>
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Eyebrows grow back. The **** thing needs your attention. It's definitely time to talk about sex. Might want to look into filters for all electronic devices.
Isamermaid 17
Like someone else said, eyebrows grow back. I'd say the **** thing is definitely curiosity. And I don't think "punishment" would be helpful. If anything, ask her to please not do it again. But I suspect you'll catch her again at 13-15. Make sure you have the sex talk with her- at least around age 12. Remind her that she is valuable, and she doesn't have to have sex with guys for them to like her. If that's what they want, they are douchebags.
ShotaSammy 17
I was 11 when my "sexual explorations" began. As in, not just curiosity anymore. It very well could be that. And any kind of "don't do that again" just meant "hide it better", to every one of my friends. Definitely have the sex talk with her and everything because even if its just curiosity, she needs to know now in case it isn't.
poprocker11221 10
You're ******. Have fun next week. ?
bigjoe980 1
<p> Neither of those things are even a big deal. Your parenting is fine if that's the only big deal that's come up! :p</p> <p>Kids are stupid, and kids are curious. Your son will get harrassed a little at the very worst, probabaly won't do it again because of it. But, do yourself a favor, take time to sit down and talk with your daughter about those lively life changes when puberty has fully hit. If your kid has started having a period. it's time to talk about god damn natural biolog
daidax_238 26
Anybody else get reminded of that YouTube video where this like 6 year old gets caught by her sister watching to gay dudes kissing and then she starts flipping out yelling "please don't tell mom please don't tell mom!"
daidax_238 26
As much as I agree with you, he never said his daughter was hitting puberty. All he said was that he caught her watching ****. I suppose that could be an indicator of starting puberty, but I thought it usually starts around the age of 12 or 13... but hey what do I know. I'm just a dumb teen living in the suburbs.