Kids: Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked...

By ohcrap - 02/08/2011 04:58 - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 496

You deserved it 16 141

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Same thing different taste

By kewtness_17 - 01/10/2011 23:10 - United States

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 571

You deserved it 12 185

By Anonymous - 22/03/2017 17:00 - United States - Troy

Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 1 694

By Anonymous - 23/07/2016 23:04 - United States - Atlanta

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 878

You deserved it 19 310

By no - 17/11/2014 02:26 - United States

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 648

You deserved it 4 007

By anonymous - 26/01/2013 08:42 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 221

You deserved it 5 655

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 327

You deserved it 7 539

By f_n_fail - 06/12/2016 21:31 - United States

Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 206

You deserved it 730

Unfortunate coincidences

By FBI1236 - 07/07/2019 20:00 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 693

You deserved it 230

Dat ass

By brandonborgie - 10/08/2021 04:01 - Australia

Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 23:33 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 203

You deserved it 6 048

StopDropNRoll 11

Tuesday 2 August 2011 11:56

Sounds like a great conversation starter!

iknowimawesome 13

Tuesday 2 August 2011 12:06

"He did the same to me."- OP's wife.

Comments

coltsrock37 15

Tuesday 2 August 2011 16:29

He was trying to show who's boss.

anencephalic 14

Tuesday 2 August 2011 16:32

Why would you spank him to begin with? What awful parenting.

Shafreeka 8

Tuesday 2 August 2011 18:42

131 - do you have kids?

lifecontroller 2

Tuesday 2 August 2011 16:55

Why the hell would you ever hit your child?!?! YDI

briannac1 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 16:56

And just what did the boss say?

DawnMarie11 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 16:58

Spanking is NOT abuse!!

steveakafranxy 7

Wednesday 3 August 2011 2:54

"Whoops. 5 o-clock. Time fo' yo' beatin'"

bonyek 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 17:19

Kids say the darnest things!!! Haha

linlyte 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 17:40

LOL

51081998 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 18:00

I did that when I was younger i dint get spanked then

RuCheezBurger 10

Tuesday 2 August 2011 18:03

After he said "made me take the punishment in the butt" you should've been like, "WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT"

mdizzl 6

Tuesday 2 August 2011 18:12

hahaha don't you just love kids? haha

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Same thing different taste

Unfortunate coincidences

Dat ass

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