Kids: Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old....

By TraumatizedMother - 02/10/2011 07:27 - United States

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 875

You deserved it 10 331

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Same thing different taste

By ellen77 - 13/09/2013 05:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 047

You deserved it 5 433

By SadDad - 22/09/2012 18:11 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 397

You deserved it 9 826

By tspence - 20/03/2013 22:08 - United States - Genoa

Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 591

You deserved it 34 238

Back in fashion (Oppenheimer dolls not so much)

By JGarz - 10/10/2015 07:21 - United States - Tucson

Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 322

You deserved it 2 733

Twisted

By no vacation then I guess - 20/11/2025 00:00

Today, when I got home, I learned that my five year-old had tried to burn the house down when my wife told him that he needed to stop watching TV. Now we need a counselor and it's going to cost thousands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 28/03/2015 04:39 - United States - Madison

Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 758

You deserved it 2 437

By ktiskool - 01/08/2013 04:03 - United States - Imperial

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 454

You deserved it 4 156

The betrayal

By poopiter - 27/07/2013 18:31 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 253

You deserved it 4 781

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 01:13 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 220

You deserved it 18 857

Hail Santa

By Holidayruined - 26/12/2021 10:59

Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 247

MarvelFF1243 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:28

Should've sent them to their rooms.

CanWeMicrowaveIt 11

Sunday 2 October 2011 17:24

Hi, I'm CanWeMicrowaveIt. And today, I'm here to talk about a epidemic sweeping the nation: Dream House fires. Did you know that a thousand Barbies a year get killed in house fires caused by their owners? That's almost twice as many that get thrown away, or run over by a car! So please, call this toll free number 1-800-BAR-BQUE, or 1800-117-1783, and donate anything, to help these Barbies, left in the ashes, with no Ken to call them, And we will send you a picture of the barbie you helped. Remember, call 1-800-BAR-BQUE and help save a barbies life. Thank you

Comments

Emperorerror 8

Thursday 3 November 2011 1:52

That's ******* awesome "**** you!" "**** you!" *burns Barbie house* "Suck it."

123Beth 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 8:22

Best fml I have seen in awhile.

ZombifiedBunny 5

Wednesday 16 November 2011 21:31

suck it barbie!

chocomilkshake 5

Saturday 17 December 2011 17:03

Number one question - why did he have access to tools to start a fire. heads up for future fml-rs. Include this in your post or answer it as a comment immediately xD;;

thefuckinloser 6

Wednesday 28 December 2011 4:15

wow wonder what he will do in 10 or 12 years

feranmi101 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 5:55

Your baby is a kid's !!!!!

dissdawg 5

Saturday 11 February 2012 20:01

That kid is awesome

StarMelody009 0

Friday 16 March 2012 2:28

What can I say? There is always a time to say "DISCO INFERNO" in times of distress.

kei1108 13

Sunday 15 April 2012 9:01

... I'm going to try to understand your logic... You see you're children fighting, so you send them outside unsupervised, with an unresolved issue, and expect them to work toddlers to work their problems out themselves? ... NOPE. YDI. Be the mature one next time by solving the problem yourself. Consistency and persistence are key in discipline.