Love: Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting...

By still together - 28/08/2013 17:47 - United States - Keansburg

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

agreeclassic 72 138

vote type 1 4 370

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By Username - 29/05/2019 12:15

Today, my brother announced his engagement. I'm going to be the Maid of Honor. My ex, who told me after five years of dating that he didn't believe in marriage, is going to be the Best Man. I get to walk down the aisle with him. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/05/2012 20:17 - United States - Aurora

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

agreeclassic 65 235

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ballsacks33 17

Thursday 29 August 2013 0:10

Oh shit....

gracehi 31

Thursday 29 August 2013 0:12

So I take it you'll decline her request to be the maid of honor.

Comments

DG25_fml 5

Thursday 29 January 2015 19:06

Need a follow up on that one.

BaDumTsss_fml 23

Sunday 5 July 2015 17:18

What pieces of shit, both of them.

OneGuySixDemons 23

Sunday 15 January 2017 23:54

Wait… What?

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Today, I came home to my wife who was drunk and sobbing. I’d left her alone with my kids from my first marriage along with ours and I guess they acted up so bad they made her break her sobriety. FML

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Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

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Today, I realized that my boyfriend‘s birthday was two weeks ago, so I immediately sent him a message as if it was today. He didn’t believe my excuses. FML

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So, what's gonna happen next?

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Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

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Today, my boss told me that we're having a big meeting tomorrow, with lots of important people. Before leaving the room he added, "Please, tomorrow, try to dress better." FML

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