Health, Cake, Roommate and Drugs: Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment....

By Cookie - 22/12/2011 18:11 - South Africa

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 723

You deserved it 8 515

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Caught in 4K

By its_all_legit - 19/03/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 461

You deserved it 127 815

Self report

By banana12321 - 02/04/2015 04:40 - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 204

You deserved it 30 468

By Bontempi - 19/07/2012 18:55 - France

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 630

You deserved it 42 696

By brizzle - 05/04/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 463

You deserved it 6 353

Baked

By non-baker - 18/03/2015 02:12 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 130

You deserved it 9 028

High on life

By badsister - 10/01/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year-old sister passed out on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 217

You deserved it 59 734

By college kid - 31/07/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 229

You deserved it 5 370

Cotton Eye Joe

By Anonymous - 13/09/2009 09:27 - United States

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling, "Who's your daddy?" at his plate of barbecued meat, and my mom just sat there with that, "What the hell happened to my life?" look on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 327

You deserved it 4 554

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 09:43 - United States

Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 556

You deserved it 4 446

By thissucks - 21/02/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 553

You deserved it 3 416

MSheary1993 1

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:37

I was gonna clean my room but then I got high!

finished 10

Thursday 22 December 2011 22:35

Call them and find out you'll be less worried :)

Comments

YDIomg 9

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:31

I used to get high... but then I took an arrow to the knee.

tennisbeast69 2

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:34

I was gonna meet my parents but then i got high, i got high

honeybadger123 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:40

can i move in with you guys?

GetHardOrGoHome 7

Friday 23 December 2011 6:59

Ditto !!

bubo_fml 10

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:45

Space cake...It's what the astronauts eat...

Enslaved 36

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:46

Ummm..... May I please have some cake too?((:

blackstar994 5

Friday 23 December 2011 1:43

I pictured the cat saying that…

Daydreemdie 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:56

Did he put anything In the cake ?

Ergayles 9

Friday 23 December 2011 1:07

No, because cake flour, sugar, and frosting alone is enough to get you baked.

PatrinaMarie 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:56

Can I get a piece of that cake? (: hahaha.

boardforlife 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:59

YDI for being high and second that's not a FML worth telling anyone

kayhay88 0

Friday 23 December 2011 0:04

Yay stoners

Kuqito 0

Friday 23 December 2011 0:06

How is this even an FML?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 273

You deserved it 19 598

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 397

You deserved it 2 943

The Top

Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. In an attempt to look cool, I pretended to have a very interesting phone conversation. Later I found out my webcam has a mic. She "heard" the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 383

You deserved it 69 379

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 330

You deserved it 12 554

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 280

Today, I was babysitting my young cousins who are obsessed with Narnia. So to appease them, we checked every closet in the house. We never did find Narnia, but we did find sex toys. Lots of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 696

You deserved it 2 811

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. Turns out his dad is the asshole customer that I complain about all the time. He recognized me too and spent the entire dinner making passive-aggressive remarks about how bad of an employee I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 367

You deserved it 2 910

Today, I was working when an older lady came up to buy a coffee. Her son cried for a cup of whipped cream to snack on. She shook her head, silently telling me to say no. I said we were out. The mother took her drink and said, "I'm sorry honey, but the mean man said you couldn't have any." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 950

You deserved it 3 724