Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML
Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML
Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML
Today, I threw a tantrum because my younger sister ate my chocolate. I'm almost 18. FML
Today, my parents told me that they think I've gone off the deep end. I don't drink or take drugs. What did I do? I got McDonald's a couple of times after school. FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
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Top comments
cradle6 13
Chocolate eggs? Is that what you kids call them now?
SkoomaKi 28
I'm proud of you, you found the last egg! Must have been some good chocolate if they said that.
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Comments (181)
robokid777 4
you then reply with and your going to end up in an old folks home
DanteWest1000 5
YDI! Chocolate Eggs are the shit...
suil5129 6
Can't complain if it turns out to be true
pigbilly 0
You need to man the **** up! What's wrong with my wimpy ass generation?
alex_chvz 0
haha ur parents sound awesome!!
Auric 9
It's a slippery slope...
methatguy94 1
Either your parents have a good sense of humor and you are a moron, or your parents are insane and you are justified.
metal8lover 11
not cool but it does sound like something my parents would say...
missalice0306 19
That must be some good chocolate
ZeroIce 12
Those chocolate eggs bring out the worst of us...