Buy a dildo

Go check the tail pipe of your car. Could find one there.

The shower head was probably mouldy by the sounds of it.

buy a cucumber

Cucumbers need some loving too.

This is more of a fucked up life, than a fuck my life.

#9: Haha, I see what you did there...

Get a BF and try fucking something besides the shower...

She must be really ugly! What woman can't scream "FREE PUSSY" and have at least one dude lining up. It's the magic of pussy power, baby! Embrace it! (back up plan: shower-heads are $12.99 at Walmart. Buy a new one.)

You need to get LAID.

76- OP could be a guy, I don't think yelling free butt hole/cock is going to have the same effect.

The same thing happened to me... But I got a jacuzzi instead.

Oh it will...just not on women.

Well if OP lives with her parents, I doubt she's old enough to buy a dildo

#66 hell yea dude lol

how the hell does a guy pleasure himself with a shower head?

#145, go have a shower, figure it out, then let everyone know.

You know it

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

The next time OP goes to her grandma's house, she can try looking through granny's drawers for her stash of sex toys. :D

seriously

Win! Epic win!

Sorry for my stupidity, but shall someone explain this fml to me???

Give me some lovin da da da da da ba da da da da bum give me some lovin

257- OP used the detachable shower head to masturbate.

no wonder u r a virgin 281

126, I'm 21 and when I'm not at school, I live with my parents, and I have two dildos.

#9 and #61 why are u thumbing them down? Read the other recent FMLs and u will figure it out!

Snowmen don't need orgasms.

9-that FML was weird, haha

Steelers FTW

Same

... I do.

No worries. There's always the cucumbers in the fridge.

Or bananas on the counter:)

Or OP could just utilize her fingers instead of ruining a perfectly good fruit or vegtable.

Who says she's ruining veggies? Recycle! Now she has an after workout snack.

Big winter carrots are better than cucumbers - they're ribbed horizontally for your pleasure.

use a cucumber! then you can have pickles!! :D

Blarp..blarp =x

honestly nothing compares to the shower head.

^^Shower heads don't compare to sex with another being?

im a virgin so I wouldnt know... im talking about in terms of self-pleasure... its just a different feeling u cant get from a dildo or a vibrator.

No carrots!! Haven't you seen 1,000 ways to die!!! o.o

But how would u know if ur a virgin?

A cheap meal and I put out, lol :3

showerhead tho...u shower in ur own vaginal/anal juices...disgust!

They're pickles now

What?? that was such an ignorant comment. what do you think happens when stuff goes down the drain? Do you think it circulates back into the system and squirts back out on you??

Gue

#242 because you haven't had sex yet.

Any chance of heading down my way to rip up some bells beach!!

Ignore people they don't know what they're talking about

hæ

Use a rake.

Erm. That sounds... Just ow.

Rake like lawn tool? Or Rake like a promiscuous man? O.o

OUCH!!!

Don't act like you don't know that hoe.

Kicky, I've never heard rake used in that context.
I think I'll use it.
*You just a damn rake!*

One if my favorite Jeopardy moments..."What is a ho?" "Actually, it's what is a rake..."

Ok this was prolly the funniest comment ever!! Hahahaha

#4, that's why you are only a temporary sharpie.

Lol this made my day

Use a rake on your junk and tell us how it feels

Why was this so heartily thumbed down? It's bizarrely hilarious!

... Shane Dawson anyone?:)

hahahahshaha

This is actually a really funny comment, what's up with all the thumbs down?

nah, one word...splinters

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll fuck you with a rake

I want to have your babies

Garden hoe.

314
Shane Dawson win.

So when there's no hot water running do you change your fb status to "it's complicated"

Awesome!

LMAO!!

Lmfao, win!

LMFAO I laughed for a good ten minutes in study hall after seeing this comment

hahaha that's hillarious!

Omy god this made me laugh so hard!!!

*slow hand clap*

I could have sat here for 10 minutes and not thought of that.

Bazinga.

Well done.

Lmao! too funny!

You clever bastard

You clever bastard

Bravo.

Well done ma'am, well done.

Hahaha!! Thanks that was the funniest comment ever posted on fml !!

I just about cried laughing

FTW!!!

You're a genius :)

AHHAHA! Omfg! FTW BUD!

Lol glad to put a smile on all your faces

Winnn!

Winnn!

BEST. COMMENT. EVER. :D

This is the solar eclipse of comments: rare, and awesome as hell.

I need extra appendages to express my approval for this.

|the kid|

832 thumbs up....
Impressive. There ought to be a badge thingy for that (Alan, Sirin?)

Go in a sex shop and out with a dildo and stick it in a drawer to hide it from your parents. Yes it sounds fishy but you should try it.

Ahhhhh fishy… I see what you did there ;)

Ahhhhh fishy… I see what you did there ;)

Ahhhhh fishy… I see what you did there ;)

Ahhhhh fishy… I see what you did there ;)

And I see what you did there 4 times.(:

comment bug. Sometimes the comment doesn't show up even after a couple of refreshes.
So people think it didn't work and submit the comment again.

Buy a Lelo. They're discreet so nobody has to know what it is.

borrow your brother's electric toothbrush

While he goes running.

Use the dildo in your car's tailpipe.

Nice cross FML reference

I actually know someone who's electric toothbrush went missing, he found in his sister's room.

Do a handstand in the shower then. Never know it might be the best thing ever.

but make sure there's a shower mat so you don't slip!

Could also be the worst thing ever when they OP busts their head open:)

while she "busts a nut"

True love will find a way.

Yeah or finds a dildo

Or not......

Sometimes you aren't looking for love... And just want to get off. Just saying.

you just ruined the fun of this page :(

It was supposed to be a joke about her and the shower head being reunited.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

She doesn't stick the shower head up there..... She just uses the water...

Lol I know a few

It's interesting you were the first to suggest that... (FYI, many use the shower head. Not in the way you said it though.)

LOL! sorry Im just smiling at your post. I'm pretty sure they don't ram the head up there! just the water lol!

Sorry, i just didn't think it that way.

FYL if you've never used it at least once. (not as a dildo though :S)

I bet you're gonna go try it now. ;)

You're very closed minded, aren't you?

Try the pulse setting MissRoxiie :P

Haha wow miss roxiie

Your sooooooooo hotttttttt.