Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mother and my sister chewed me out for not attending my sister's birthday party. I'm sorry for having both of my fucking legs broken in a motorcycle accident. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML
Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML
Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied, "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML
Today, a nurse berated me for not being able to lift my leg myself so she could put a cast on. My leg is broken in two places. FML
Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left, I was carrying her downstairs and tripped. Try calling your parents from the hospital and explaining that their daughter, who can't even crawl yet, has a broken leg. FML
Today, my mom told me to break a leg before performing in my dancing school's show. I really did break part of my leg while performing. FML
Today, I jokingly told my mother to "go fall down a hole" during a mock argument we always have. Not even 10 minutes later, our basement stairs gave out. When I said that, I didn't want her to break both her arms or to actually fall into a gaping hole. FML
Today, the day after saying that I'd never broken a bone, I snapped my fibula in half. FML
Today, my mom casually told me, "Remember that time we went to build a swing set when you were four? Actually, I was going to hang myself and take you with me so that you didn't suffer in this life. If it wasn't for your Grandma, we wouldn't be here now. And when I took you to the lake… Oh, silly me!" Cool, mom. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
So just to be sure I have this right, you: 1) Defied your mother 2) Told your mother SHE WAS STUPID 3) Broke your ankle and elbow because of your moronic behaviour Yup, sounds like you got exactly what you deserved.
giosoto 0
You know what they say: mother knows best.
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Comments (128)
SugaryTears 0
it's called a KIDDIE swing for a reason.
WhiteBoyThatCan 0
is there an age limit on it? I think not!
btothel 4
she seems to have a kiddie's brainpower, maybe she thought that counted
devwre 0
you could try bulimia for a while to prevent this in the future.
kellysmith69 1
sure, because self harm is now socially acceptable nowadays. how ignorant.
MrSassypants 34
I usually like other FML refrenves but that was just ******* horrible.
rawrimshay 5
fail.
ChantelRenaeee 0
seriously, why are there SO many idiots in this world?
ydnar 5
Advice from America... LISTEN TO YOUR MUM!!! Gotta love them British. haha
ChantelRenaeee 0
yeah, your not as funny as you imagined.
kellysmith69 1
two things, firstly you are American but yet used the Queen's English in the spelling of 'mum' secondly, majority of fml's are posted by Americans.
ILOLatmockdaweek 0
there wouldn't be an America if it wasn't for Britain, and just so you know, we think you're a disapointment.
UnfOrg1ven 1
You do know it wasn't just the British who helped America to become a country. France helped America to win the revolutionary war, if you think British only helped America to become a country I think you are a disappoint
nfc14 2
Once I got laughed at by an american for calling ketchup tomatoe sauce. little did she know that like mom, the rest of the english speaking world uses the alternative queens version. Americans are to the rest of the world what hillbillies are to Americans
Mystery_Machete 2
#48. America doesn't care what Britain thinks. We care about what you think as much as we care about the bison. What bison? Exactly. #54. Not all Americans are that dense... It's just that the idiots happen to be more attractive and get more exposure to the rest of the world.
UnfOrg1ven 1
60 You are right
FMLinNMI 0
@#48 Your spelling is a "disappointment" lol
DocBastard 40
Let me assure the rest of the FML community that Mystery_Machete does not speak for all Americans. He does, however, represent a sizable portion of the US population that thinks he's better than everyone else simply because of where he happens to live. Just keep in mind that nationalism is not an American invention. People loved their homelands long before the colonials booted the Native Americans off their lands. It's comments like this that give the US and its citizens a bad reputation worldwide.
magentaballoon15 8
amen
Mystery_Machete 2
#78. Coming from someone whose profile says "If you'd like to carry on an argument with me, remember that I'm smarter than you. And more popular. And better looking. If you can't handle that, just **** the **** off" means so much to me! I love hypocrites! And you're saying that the majority of people that 'represent' America are good representatives? No, they are not. Am I? No. Did I say I was? No. I'm merely saying that the stupid people attract more attention to the US than the intelligent people. On that note, your assumption that I think I am better than everyone because I'm American and that you automatically assume that I am male is disgusting. I used to waste time giving people like you lectures. But now, I'm keeping it succinct. Maybe next time, instead of getting off of your high horse for us lesser beings, you'll avoid getting on it in the first place.
Endelasia 0
Last I checked Britain isn't even located near Australia. You may want to go back to school and retake Geography.
ydnar 5
and there wouldn't be a Great Britain if America didn't save their ass in WWII so STFU!!!
SammyS2012 21
Not true. There still could have been an America without Britain, but we could be speaking Spanish or French instead of english. we weren't just founded by Britain. They just managed to collect certain colonies and make those said colonies so upset, they revolted =)
xGraycloud 4
but... isn't it common sense that it wouldn't hold your weight? -_-
zojieeu 6
haha you Noobie deserve it :D
khaya 9
The only way you could have gotten those injuries would be if your mother beat you with the swing.
iluvhaterz 0
or maybe she flew off while swinging. duh
JesusFishTaco 5
I hate people who don't understand written sarcasm.
instantmusic 4
Future Darwin Award candidate. Its nice to see kids setting such high goals^^
bigassfish97 0
haha dumbass