Today, my mother came up to me at swim meet and shouted to me in the bleachers "If you have to go potty, go now because there is a long line!". I'm seventeen. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML
Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML
Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML
Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML
Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML
Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML
Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML
Today, while I was in the bathroom my mom walked in and tried to have a conversation with me about my bowel movements. I'm 23, and this is a regular thing. FML
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Top comments
Indiana_fml 4
I think there should be an additional category named "Mom".
Serial 2
those lines do get pretty long
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Comments (71)
so_me_fml 0
Meh, I'm 24, and my mom and I still say stuff like this to each other in public... we think it's funny. I guess I may have been mortified when I was 17, but trust me, you'll laugh at this when you're older.
wcgirl 0
at least she didn't yell something about you always peeing in the pool haha--THAT would've been embarassing..
Zoa_fml 0
Can people learn how to SPELL please! I have not read ONE FML today that has had perfect (or at least readable) spelling/grammar.....
vag_fml 0
31, 39--chill out, maybe english is their second language. get off your xenophobic ass.
noneyadamnbizwax 0
wow, my 15 year old would never talk to me again if I did that to her. I have younger kids and I think before I speak. FYL.
noneyadamnbizwax 0
wow, my 15 year old would never talk to me again if I did that to her. I have younger kids and I think before I speak. FYL.
ayadora 0
go potty on her face
SEXYSENIOR 1
I think this FML is great. I would be embarrassed if my mom did that!! And everyone needs to chill out. AT a swim meet was obviously a mistype and has nothing to do with a grammar, English, or intelligence. And maybe she didn't even have to go to the bathroom so there is no redeeming quality of at least you didn't piss your pants because she wouldn't have had to go in the first place!
lovell_says_hey 0
I FEEL YOUR PAIN AND I AM SO SORRY, MAN!
austin117 0
jesus christ I know what you mean, my wife says that to my son and the word potty just makes me want to put my .38 in my mouth