Anonymous
United States
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
disappointment son
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
xXglycerinXx
United States
Cart Narcs
Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML
Anonymous
United States
Get a move on!
Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
SilverAuthor
Detroit, United States
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
FunTimes
Canada
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
dude, where's my balls? :(
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Anchorage, United States
Sleigh bells
Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML
Rastaa_Reyes
The definition of irony
Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML
Anonymous
Thieves like us
Today, my mom stole my holiday money because she found it “near her bag” in my kitchen and “assumed it was hers” and she must have “forgotten it was in there all this time.” I demanded it back, but she’d already spent it on hair, nails, shoes, and a date night with dad. She won’t pay me back either. FML
sarahwittman
United States
Scammers gonna scam
Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML
Top comments
hannahtaskey 9
Your mom is awesome.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
gotta pinch them pennies
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Comments (177)
howslife123 0
what's with all the crazy mom FMLs lately!?
Livinia 11
Congratulations, you're smarter than your mother. :) Don't listen to her if she's trying to get you to do stuff like that.
Glitterhinoceros 14
Pay in pennies!!
StopDropNRoll 11
He wasn't planning to pay...
Glitterhinoceros 14
Pay in pennies!!
0utlawed 0
well.. at least your mom isn't stealing from any place expensive she could be charged wit a felony. plus who doesn't steal at dollar stores, isn't society lovely?
HJ0HN50N 4
dude change your pic your abs suck
FarSide 23
YOUR society would not be called lovely where I live. It would be called a shit-hole.
xLoveLastsx 0
._. thats not good d:
Britt20115431 0
Wow
Mirorbo 27
Shoplift at Wal-Mart. They can't do anything once you walk out the door!~ Seriously though, a dollar store? What do they have there that's worth stealing?
cpbrown 0
yeah except tackle you right before you get to the door. plus I'm pretty sure Wal-mart has cameras EVERY WHERE!
Mirorbo 27
Hmmm...someone must have been asleep that day then. The last time I went to the old WM, I saw this large lady piling things into the cart and then just go out the front door with it. No one stopped her. No one told her to stop and come back. Nothing. Lady just kept going to the back of the parking lot, loaded the goods, and BAM, she was gone. I actually put down all my shopping just to follow this lady and to see if she'd get away with it. Just Wow...
8sq 13
they have silly putty? or cheap windup toys.
cpbrown 0
hahaha that's insane.
LilAngel606 5
wal-mart has cameras!
FarSide 23
Wrong bozo. It's when you walk OUT that they detain and have you arrested. In the store, you could claim that you have "forgotten" to pay. You lose all excuses once you walk out the door.
pianogirl12345 8
Anything there worth stealing..?(:
howslife123 0
if you like cheap crap made in China then WHY YES THEY DO :)
pianogirl12345 8
OMG I gotta get there right away then!!!(;
im_bored_tired 12
he should shoplift the cameras. they will never see it.
cpbrown 0
you should have told her to do it her damn self.... plus she has a purse :P
roastbeef34 0
how do you know
cpbrown 0
well I guess if she is so poor and has to steal from the dollar store..... then yeah your probably right and she can't even afford a purse.