Anonymous
United States
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
disappointment son
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
xXglycerinXx
United States
Cart Narcs
Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML
Anonymous
United States
Get a move on!
Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
SilverAuthor
Detroit, United States
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
FunTimes
Canada
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
dude, where's my balls? :(
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Anchorage, United States
Sleigh bells
Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML
Rastaa_Reyes
The definition of irony
Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML
Anonymous
Thieves like us
Today, my mom stole my holiday money because she found it “near her bag” in my kitchen and “assumed it was hers” and she must have “forgotten it was in there all this time.” I demanded it back, but she’d already spent it on hair, nails, shoes, and a date night with dad. She won’t pay me back either. FML
sarahwittman
United States
Scammers gonna scam
Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML
Top comments
hannahtaskey 9
Your mom is awesome.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
gotta pinch them pennies
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Comments (177)
Legendslayer222 26
It's only the dollar store now, because you're in training. Your mom will move you onto bigger projects until you are ready to rob banks with her. Have fun!
KarWitz 0
haha . Sounds like my aunt. LOLJK.
KarWitz 0
haha . Sounds like my aunt. LOLJK.
jamieexo 2
Lovin your mom right now
lopezk 0
lmao! i love the dollar store hahah
kaylapple 1
damn shes cheap.
shelby_sevenfold 0
Five finger discount ftw!
Ugi 27
No. No. Your mother's strategy is all wrong! To make any money from crime you need to work your way up into a senior and trusted position first and then embezzle the hell out of them. No good getting a record now or they'll be watching you!
dcdelice 1
lol really tho
crw817 3
maybe you should realize the value of money