Anonymous
United States
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
disappointment son
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
xXglycerinXx
United States
Cart Narcs
Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML
Anonymous
United States
Get a move on!
Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
SilverAuthor
Detroit, United States
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
FunTimes
Canada
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
dude, where's my balls? :(
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Anchorage, United States
Sleigh bells
Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML
Rastaa_Reyes
The definition of irony
Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML
Anonymous
Thieves like us
Today, my mom stole my holiday money because she found it “near her bag” in my kitchen and “assumed it was hers” and she must have “forgotten it was in there all this time.” I demanded it back, but she’d already spent it on hair, nails, shoes, and a date night with dad. She won’t pay me back either. FML
sarahwittman
United States
Scammers gonna scam
Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML
Top comments
hannahtaskey 9
Your mom is awesome.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
gotta pinch them pennies
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Comments (177)
dearbarn 0
get anything good?
howslife123 0
glow sticks
danny1560 0
pizza
howslife123 0
balloons
Ionodemon1995 0
skittles
AaronTkr 0
silly string
warlockplayer19 5
cheetos :D
OhSoBueno 0
Shapeshifters.
TheRealHouse 7
The cash register
Just2BMe 5
go big or go home!
JenDanielle917 13
Why didnt she do it herselff?
krispybacon4321 23
Op's mom's coat and pants were probably full of stolen stuff...
ILoveDaWorld 5
haha loser
limeyemilyy 0
Shame on her for making you do the dirty work... Try a more profitable store next time?
A100893 30
Desperate times call for desperate measures I guess.... Time to be the responsible one OP.
zhightower 3
what is there in a dollar store that is worth shoplifting???
jacob4848 4
Umm silly string?
howslife123 0
coloring books, balloons, tights xD, thongs.. lots of treasurable stuff
KendalKeller 3
did you?
emogirlraves 0
hahaha damn yo mama is so broke and ugly she can't strip so she shoplifts from the $1 tree
8sq 13
I agree, your mom is kickass.