Health: Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get...

By Eres - 11/02/2011 07:04 - United States

Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 109

You deserved it 4 494

Health

Mama's boy

Grammar police alert

Not the sharpest tool

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 13:32 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 604

You deserved it 1 614

By Garry the Gluten-Free Pizza - 13/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 560

You deserved it 1 034

You're fired

By Pyrophobia - 13/09/2021 23:00

Today, my husband nearly set our apartment on fire, all because he attempted to burn any evidence of his affair with his mistress, including the used latex condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 446

You deserved it 109

By Anonymous - 25/08/2012 15:48 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 671

You deserved it 10 701

By veggieluver - 16/01/2013 00:58 - United States - Scarsdale

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 893

You deserved it 3 234

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 164

You deserved it 5 835

OK Gus

By MartianTom - 14/04/2017 07:00 - United States - Evanston

Today, the maintenance man for my building fixed my leaky sink. As he headed out the door, I said, "Thanks, Gus!" He turned around and said matter-of-factly, "My name is Eli." I've been addressing him as "Gus" for the past year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 843

You deserved it 1 259

By Yazzy - 13/02/2009 09:57 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents can see a screen-by-screen of everything I say and do on my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 723

You deserved it 7 919

By Monique - 10/04/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, my head has been killing me. I've had the worst headache ever. Happy that I could finally sleep, I plopped onto my bed and bashed my head on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 056

You deserved it 10 769

By ...... - 16/05/2012 22:29 - United States

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 436

You deserved it 32 119

By L - 16/10/2012 22:59 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 513

You deserved it 6 858

By HeMayHaveSomeIssues - 28/02/2014 20:01 - Denmark

Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially "kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 243

You deserved it 3 646

By Anna - 02/10/2012 17:37 - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 953

You deserved it 4 408

By Anonymous - 24/11/2012 01:29 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 1 882

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 13:44 - Canada

Today, I finished a big painting for art class. It's also the day my little brother decided it didn't have enough puke on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 113

You deserved it 1 662

By Anonymous - 20/08/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 003

You deserved it 5 231

By Me - 27/09/2015 09:53 - Australia

Today, I tried taking a shortcut through a nature trail, hoping to save myself some time getting back to my car. I ended up getting lost for nearly 3 hours and getting to work nearly 2 hours late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 119

You deserved it 12 360

By soundbox - 27/01/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 425

You deserved it 4 677

By Anonymous - 15/09/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 768

You deserved it 8 016

By Anonymous - 16/07/2016 15:16 - United States - Jasper

Today, I finally finished a gruelling shift at the hospital. I hadn't slept in over 30 hours, so I was happy to get out. I was quickly rushed back in after I collapsed in the parking lot and cracked my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 478

You deserved it 1 143

Bad boys, bad boys…

By Joey Soprano - 18/08/2020 02:06

Today, I went to the DMV today and sat in line for over 6 hours to renew my driver's license. Even though with the pandemic, it's been extended to New Year's Eve but I decided to get it done and over with. I get called up to finish everything, only to find out my license is suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 502

By butisavedyourkid - 06/06/2013 04:13 - United States

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 184

You deserved it 3 520

By Men '86 - 24/07/2011 06:41 - Canada

Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 978

You deserved it 39 239

By wtf - 15/07/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 706

You deserved it 3 402

By katwingz - 19/02/2013 22:47 - United States - Fairfield

Today, after being together for only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership for my birthday in a card that said, "So u can b hott! Luv u!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 549

You deserved it 6 174

By Anonymous - 10/05/2009 18:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 388

You deserved it 4 207

By Ugggggggggg - 06/11/2012 05:11 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 510

You deserved it 4 842

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 903

You deserved it 12 124

By therealkathl - 05/03/2015 13:32 - Austria

Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 192

You deserved it 3 408

By Anonymous - 03/01/2015 21:16 - United States - Newark

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 023

You deserved it 2 265

By OhNo. - 27/07/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I had a job interview, but I arrived kind of late. I was in so much of a hurry that I hit a woman walking by in the face with the door. I offered to drive her to the hospital. Turns out that she was going to be interviewing me. She didn't offer to reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 942

You deserved it 13 664

By Anonymous - 26/04/2014 05:57 - Canada

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 710

You deserved it 19 175

Cheap

By SmokeWeedErdayAllDay - 18/04/2020 17:00

Today, I was in the mood for some coffee, which is right down the street. I brought ten dollars with me, not knowing how much I'd need. When I approached the counter, the barista looked at my hand holding the ten-dollar bill and said, "Oh, our cheap things are on the left side of the menu." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 488

You deserved it 237

Call the cops

By sammatthews2007 - 25/02/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 311

You deserved it 7 479

By kibblegirl - 06/06/2019 00:01

Today, I was so hungry that my mouth started watering during a dog food commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 263

By doomed - 11/02/2015 00:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 060

You deserved it 3 776

By stinkyhair - 19/12/2011 17:48 - United States

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 771

You deserved it 2 826

By Outfoxed - 07/08/2018 22:00

Today, I'm moving to the barn. Two weeks ago I bought my girlfriend the birthday gift she most wanted: two ducklings. They’re scatting everywhere but she eats, cuddles, and sleeps with them in our bed. I asked if they could go live outside and she said, "No, you can." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 653

You deserved it 664

Tactician

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 02:00

Today, in the most polite and friendly way I could think of, I told a friend that she's slightly too dramatic about things. She started throwing a fit, deleted my number, and ended our seven-year friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 291

By lunarclips - 27/06/2016 14:08 - Canada - Brandon

Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 026

You deserved it 1 220

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Top comments

Mirorbo 26

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:11

I'll never understand why parents do this to their kids... They need to stop listening to Paranoia News and grow some common sense.

Randy1994 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:08

what a caring mom...

Randy1994 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:08

what a caring mom...

NickK49 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:33

Hey lay off her! She just has a blood fetish!

Alex_The_Human 2

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:40

OP your mom is a moron.

NuyoRicanGirl 3

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Friday 11 February 2011 13:12

I love hearing the same FMLs over and over :-/ still FYL if it's true

Skullcrusher 5

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Friday 11 February 2011 17:47

you're weird.

jacwood 0

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Saturday 12 February 2011 6:43

man, ur mom seriously needs to get a reality check and stop being a b**** (no offense)

smmrgrl 1

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Sunday 13 February 2011 7:19

no.

jannie22 0

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Friday 1 July 2011 5:51

your lucky you get meds for it. I never did. :(

toqwert 0

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Saturday 24 September 2011 6:45

Mom=no enjoyment, only pain... And more pain....

iluvfmls456 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:11

oh my gosh fyl. you could try to sneak them back...

Mirorbo 26

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:11

I'll never understand why parents do this to their kids... They need to stop listening to Paranoia News and grow some common sense.

spoo 24

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Friday 11 February 2011 16:04

True, but sometimes i wonder what caused the parents to do what they did. What if she were using 5x prescribed, abusing and selling them?

shannonreneee 11

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Friday 11 February 2011 17:08

Aren't*

SirEBC 7

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Friday 11 February 2011 17:17

I laughed at the seemingly-random and unwarranted correction.

Dilwann 27

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Wednesday 26 December 2012 13:57

Anti-anxiolytica are, in fact, addicting. Doesn't take away the fact that it's better to use it and try to use according to the 'limits' (e.g. 2 pills per day max) than not using at all because you couldn't get addicted.

domolovesyoshi 33

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Sunday 6 July 2014 6:16

I've never heard of that

tgart 14

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Tuesday 17 February 2015 8:07

If she really needed them, do you think she would sell them?

Juliaa15 6

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:12

let's go back to a simpler time.

insanesna1l 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:21

when we all walked naked to school people like op would be sent away in a white coat

LadyClarik 8

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:36

You walked naked to school??

LadyClarik 8

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:39

You walked naked to school?? And if the OP misbehaves she'd score a free coat? Sounds like a sweet deal to me...

insanesna1l 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:40

you didn't?? good times.

Juliaa15 6

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Friday 11 February 2011 23:09

Lady. you need to live a little. everyone did at least once or twice as a kid. as for me? I went everyday. I spent my money on good ol micky dees. gained about 200 pounds, but at least I was spending money on something I need, like food, instead of expensive clothes.

stanthrax 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:14

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

sumbody14 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 15:43

lol

VladAlex 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 20:11

Chuck Norris once lost both his legs but was still able to walk it off

valdancer99 0

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Tuesday 20 December 2011 4:12

Shut up, you can't control them!

meb123hazel 21

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Thursday 29 November 2012 2:18

People can't just "walk it off" it doesn't work like that -.-

biohaz_fml 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:15

you should be fine. stop taking drugs!!

Bano360 25

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:51

How do you know what's best for her? Anxiety attacks are common, and the only way to stop them is to take medication. You obviously don't know much, you're just as bad as the mom!

hudson155 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 16:09

yeah um biohazs comment was legit. just chill your tits and grow a pair

xxfezxx 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:15

you have fucking smart as mom! show her what happens when you do not have the help that the meds give you

MyChemical_fml 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 13:23

Common sense! Or call your doctor and have him slap some sense into your mom?

eryn13 5

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Friday 11 February 2011 14:28

I agree with both these comments!!!

mattc89 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 15:14

lol cute

josephhhhhh 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 15:17

I agree with u 3

sunnysurfchick 0

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Friday 11 February 2011 12:15

holy shit! If you need it tell your dad or someone who can help get it back from her. becareful she might be taking them! in fact I bet she is. she sounds like a sneaky bitch.