Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML
Today, my mum came over and helped me sort out my spare room. It was great, we found so many things I'd forgotten I had! Including anal beads. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my mother dragged me into Victoria's Secret to get my opinion on some lingerie. Lingerie she'll be using to get into my dad's pants this evening. FML
Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML
Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
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Top comments
cuppycakeslove 20
Both!
grahmagog 14
One little bead, two little beads...and this make three, how many beads can she fit inside she, four little beads, five little beads and the last one is six, tonight im sure she'll get her fix, slide them in, big one first, go on beads...do your worst, and when she begins to scream and shout...grab the string and pull em out
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Comments (129)
Pstraka6 20
Take a deep breath and do it for some funnies! You'll look back on this and laugh!
Cheeley 17
Beads definitely because they can double as a fancy necklace.
Trigabyte 8
Box of GAG Gifts? Why do I feel as if there is a really good pun in there somewhere...
imtooshy 18
Looking at sweet mom the same way might be a little weird, just not sure what's more twisted, you going through her personal things to pick a goodie out or you touching all these things that were once in mom?! Yuk!
emuexport 4
The beads for sure, if you're not totally convinced try them out yourself first :)
LissaMccracken 23
Do you even have to ask? Obviously both!
Pierce1987 8
At least it was labeled gag gifts and not fun toys
dawood_k 27
Are these toys second hand...
iamthebull5 1
Sounds like my mom.
WhiteCrimson 23
Cool mom.... Every mom should be like her