Miscellaneous: Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled... - FML

By ouch - 12/07/2013 07:22 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 158

You deserved it 4 759

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 673

You deserved it 121

Demon drink

By Aliiveopen - 24/08/2020 07:02 - United States - Wasilla

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting 2 holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 99

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 492

You deserved it 169

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 23:57 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 431

You deserved it 4 140

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 854

You deserved it 4 365

By the only sober one - 15/05/2013 06:21 - United States - San Diego

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 923

You deserved it 2 804

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 979

You deserved it 7 499

By xMiSS_CuTiEx - 27/12/2009 22:25 - United States

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 106

You deserved it 14 362

By mariama - 23/01/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 998

You deserved it 3 120

By awkward drunk - 29/01/2011 12:40 - Canada

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 213

You deserved it 45 749

Next

Top comments

FindingYujin 26

Friday 12 July 2013 15:58

Well how insensitive of you to bleed all over her carpet.

tacojauns 45

Friday 12 July 2013 16:03

God what hell! Do you know how hard it is to get blood off the carpet?

Comments

ughfmltears 12

Saturday 13 July 2013 4:18

Wow what a ******* psycho Bitch.. It sure sucks to be you :-(

Twaltt 4

Saturday 13 July 2013 4:50

You need to control your body

kudwam 6

Saturday 13 July 2013 9:08

Ignatius o'Reilly? Is that you?

kaseyc 6

Saturday 13 July 2013 9:27

Isn't that a takingbacksunday song?

itsgen 16

Saturday 13 July 2013 10:40

Haha i like ur mom

TheChelseaSays 34

Saturday 13 July 2013 18:46

My mom did that same thing to me. Only difference is that she was sober.

BradTheBrony 19

Saturday 13 July 2013 19:33

Does your mother own a watch that lets her turn invisible and a cigarette case that lets her disguise as the other team? Also is she a french man? Because that reminds me of the Spy.

Mizzesbestie 13

Saturday 13 July 2013 22:53

Does this remind anyone of eminems song brain dead where his mom is like "look at you your getting blood all over my rug!" ?

Airbell12 11

Sunday 14 July 2013 1:56

Are you being seriously abused? If so, you must speak out.

Link5794 18

Sunday 14 July 2013 5:38

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The Top

Today, I attended a family gathering where everyone was taking turns sharing exciting life updates. When it was my turn, I proudly announced that I'd finally mastered the art of adulting... only for my dad to pipe up with, "Makes a change from when you used to wank like a gibbon thinking we couldn't hear you up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 183

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 204

You deserved it 6 457

The Top

Today, I was changing my tampon in a public bathroom. As I was about to put the tampon into the sanitary bin, I dropped it and it rolled under the stall next to mine. It was occupied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 424

You deserved it 1 121

Today, some friends and I went to IHOP. We joked about not having enough money, and as it turns out we were $5 short. We put down what we had and left. Upon getting to the car, I realized I'd forgotten my phone, and had to go back. I made eye contact with our waitress, our money in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 2 695

Today, my friend bit me. The first time I said "Ow!" and pushed her away. The third time really hurt, and I got mad and said, "Don't fucking bite me!" and walked away angrily. She chased after me and told me I couldn't be mad at her, then got mad when I wouldn't talk to her. She didn't say sorry once and it started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 104

Today, I overheard my brother telling my son and his male cousins, who all think he's a cool uncle, that, "Only women can sneeze and fart at the same time." I decided to intervene, and gave him a scolding of a lifetime in front of them. Let's just say, I had to sneeze while in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 420

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 037

You deserved it 5 630

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 243

You deserved it 28 599