Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML
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Top comments
Nicolasaur726 21
Ah, double standards, gotta love 'em.
nphill82 21
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Comments (100)
LadyLol_fml 15
Mate of you're young enough to be grounded then I can understand why she went nuts, wait until your old enough to make these choices without fear of parental involvement. Like Chef once said: 'there's a time and a place for everything and it's called college'.
worldclassrager 41
Holds true to the statement weeds spread...grammar doesn't fit but it's good enough
lantz4levi 19
Either way drugs are bad for you mmmhhhm k
ApplePie1994 27
I was gonna ground my son, but den I got high...
fmylifegshit 10
That's funny asf! I would do same shit!
ajean97 14
This is exactly what I would do if I caught my daughter with it before she was an adult! Too funny.
rec_chem 22
Do as I say, not as I do.
tosdyke 16
find a better hiding spot, chief on!
dreadlocmask 15
If I were you, just leave it be. You're out of trouble by the looks of it
DA3Z 16
Strict yet non-wasteful!