Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML
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Top comments
Nicolasaur726 21
Ah, double standards, gotta love 'em.
nphill82 21
Sharing is caring!
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Comments (100)
8Dirty1 24
family bonding time
whitnayfortooh 29
my grandma would smash all my bowls and flush my pot...:/
dakota555 8
Thats more funny then FML
MidnaLink 35
Blasphemy!
marigoldcobain 21
Caring is sharing... ehheh... this stuff is good...
whateverreally 4
Weed screws with the developing brain, your brain is not fully developed until about age 25. Try not to smoke it until then, but after that it can offer nice benefits. I guess your parents are over 25, so yay, way to go for them!
dewberry2001 25
I think you'll be good after 18. The people I know who smoked at 13/14 are stupid and lazy, but the people I know who started at 18/19 are all in college and doing very well.
FrostyNipz19 12
She planned that all along. She wanted to catch you with weed.
Unbearable_fml 21
YDI for smoking weed.
lexiieeex3 32
No excuse for her to be hypocritical but nonetheless, she's an adult and can make her own decisions meanwhile you're skid and still growing, which can be stunted from doing drugs at an early age. I'm sorry OP :
Flyndaran 10
Amazing how so many poster know more about marijuana than all the world's experts. Illicit drugs do not stunt your growth. That's absurd. Why must people lie and make up such nonsense rather than rely on facts?
Bigsam1514 14
Marijuana has been shown to stunt brain development if used at an early age, but so will caffeine or alcohol.
Drnknmonkey08 12
as a parent, I would never condone my child for smoking pot or drinking for that matter and I would probably of reacted the same way as long as she is under the age of 18. I would want her to make better decisions than I did growing up.
countryb_cth 38
I don't know why you are getting down voted. It's not a bad thing that you don't condone things like that. It's not like you're banning them from ever doing those things, you just don't encourage it. My parents didn't either, well with drinking I was aloud a sip or a very small glass time to time but that's it until I was 18. Sounds like you're a good parent.
Enslaved 38
I agree with # 21 statement but there's more to this FML. The parents then later smoked that same weed an hour later. Parents need to lead by example. None of this "Do what I say, not what I do" BS!
Drnknmonkey08 12
the parents mistake was smoking it while OP was still awake haha.
RedPillSucks 33
so is the lesson to find a better hiding spot, get better weed so your parents are impressed, or not smoke at all?