Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Nicolasaur726 21
Ah, double standards, gotta love 'em.
nphill82 21
Sharing is caring!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
joshi42 16
Quod licet Iovi, non licet bovi
ProSwimmerFL 16
Psst call the cops for possession of drugs NOW that would be funny OP
shadowshalf 8
Let her find some more than call the cops and tell them your parents are doing drugs
MrZsDad 19
YDI, they found your stash. Perhaps you should join them and go for puff, puff pass.
dragonrider1959 18
Dope is for dopes buddy!
repzero 7
do as they say not as they do
lalaney 14
That was a bitchy thing to do, especially when she should've known you'd find out. Yes, it's hypocrisy, but it's understandable. Teenagers should not be smoking much weed at all, and it is something that is better to do when you're older. But she was still being a jerk about it.
BananaN0se 13
Get more, then call the cops on them.
11tmaste 3
Call the cops on her lol
Eloxia 7
Sorry to say, but your mom is doing her legal obligation to take it away from you if you're a minor. She could go to jail for endangerment allowing that. On the other side, that's what you get for becoming an adult, the ability to make your own stupid mistakes (unless it's illegal where you live.) It's like if a dad finds beer in his kid's room, then he has to take it away. Does that mean he can't drink beer himself? No. It's part of being a parent.