Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my best friend smelled the other night and how I should wear some perfume that smelled like that. I have the same exact perfume and have been wearing it for months. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I lied at a store when the checkout person told me the cologne I was buying was for men. I told him it was for my boyfriend. I haven't had a boyfriend in 2 years, I just wanted it to smell like one. FML
Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML
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Top comments
spursunited 19
Smell random strangers on the bus/subway and when they ask what you're doing stare them straight in the eyes and take the biggest breath possible without breaking eye contact and slowly back away while whispering, "you smell different when you're awake..."
SauceySarah 30
I don't blame you. Guy's cologne smells absolutely incredible if it's the good kind.
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Comments (58)
beeferjay 34
dust yourself off and get out there. get you some!
tamesenicole 27
It's not that easy. Some people aren't made to just jump out there at random
FalloutScrolls 25
He's out there, OP. I guarantee it. Chin up. Don't just wait for your prince charming to find you, either. The poor guy might be stuck in a tree, or something.
Angsty_Armadillo 25
Could always buy men's body wash.
ToxicTyrael 26
You can also rent a callboy...
worldclassrager 41
Better than going to the mall and testing them all out...
scarlett3diaz 24
I bought a hand sanitizer from bath and body works that smells like a man....but I have a boyfriend...
ohSNAPyall 27
Rub it in.
TDKopecki 16
Get a bottle and spray it on a stuffed animal.
Mortoli 30
or a pillow
dragoongirl90 34
I used to do that too, OP.
tamesenicole 27
I get the car freshener called black ice. To some people it smells like laundry but to me it smells like a guy. I know what you're going through OP
attybabe 6
I agree! It smells amazing!
Iamnotfat 16
That's what I use for my car! Black ice for the car, Armani Aqua di gio for me!
YaztheSpaz 4
I suggest taking a stroll through Abercrombie & Fitch
KENAl 10
*Walks into Hollister* *starts crying*