Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML
Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML
Today, my brother’s cat pissed on my brand new bed. He refuses to replace the mattress, and claims it wasn’t his cat. We only have one cat. FML
Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML
Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
That's a smart little brother you have there. Now start peeing on his favourite toys and see how he likes that.
macskapingvin 0
Do the kindest thing. Tranquilise this poor lost animal and set him loose in the forest where he belongs.
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Comments (82)
pinkybaby 0
#76 : probaly the app duh
zyzy92 8
did he also know that bears get shot by humans? I'll supply the rifle and ammo......
zyzy92 8
what about the neutered part?
Awesomehobo44 3
Wow smart bro u got there
techman321 1
make him buy a new laptop
____Dubs____ 4
Reason #9273647282948472 why I'm happy that I'm an only child.
Ipsum629 13
your little brother is a special kind of stupid isn't he?
Derp2DaFlygon 5
so I read beers instead of bears and was really confused